A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have a pregnant woman on the side and am married. The problem is that my wife doesn't want me to be there during the womans labor. If my wife has forgave me, shouldn't I at least be able to be there during the birth of this child? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2009): you SHOULD not be with your other woman during her labour. you should pay finanically but stay the hell away from the OW. Let her go through the labour with her friends and family. what do you want to do there anyway- hold your mistress hand, look lovinginly into her eyes and say wow, look at what we created in our deceit! get real and fact life- you are lucky you have a second chance with your wife. if you carry on in this selfish manner she may decide to wise up and throw you out of her life. then you can go play happy families with your mistress. you did it wrong once with this OW, don't do it again. or else you will pay the ultimate price. what a gall you have. expecting your wife to be so understanding with your need to be at your mistresses side while she gives birth. taking care of this child is one thing, playing happy family with its mother is something else. ......am i am sure you also expect your wife to wait outside the delivery room with a bunch of flowers for your mistress?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2009): forgiveness has nothing to do with A CHILD I understand what has happened.. and how hurt she is.. but take it out on you and the woman not the baby...
what are you going to say to YOUR CHILD when it grows to why you were there... MY WIFE WOULDN'T let me be there for you? what about its birthday... can you do those? what about when its sick? christing? sleepover? first day of school? etc.. i am sure you get my point.
Show this to your wife if you want but, all of you need to grow up! two of you made a LIFE and three of you must RAISE it. There is no way ever that the father of my children would miss the birth of his child for a woman in his life.. that is a moment you cannot fix or replace... we are not talking about I missed your dance cause i had to work..
were talking on purpose.... I know you made a mistake and both of you are trying to fix it... you now have two people who are permanatly in your life. and the most important is yet to come!!!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2009): Not if you're committed to making things work with your wife.
Being absent from this birth is what you deserve for cheating, and it's what the OW deserves for getting pregnant by a man who isn't available. Honestly, what did you expect? Your wife to smile and tell you "Yes, honey, go ahead?"
The last thing she wants is the extra reminder that you weren't faithful to her, and if you hope to stay married to her then I would respect her feelings in this matter.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2009): well you hurt you wife by cheating, and i cannot imagine how hurt she will be feeling if you are there at the birth of your child to another woman.ultimatly you are going to have to hurt someone yet again.what a horrible situation this is. its all down to you now and how you feel about being at the birth. depending on how strong your wife is, she can be by your side at the birth to, but realistically... if you plan on staying with your wife, then let the other woman know to make arragements for someone else to be with her.
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (6 August 2009):
Ooohh...hmmm that's a tough one. Being that you're married to your wife and not the other woman, I could see how your wife would not want you to be there. Even though she "forgave" you, it doesn't mean that she's not a little bit threatened by the idea of you being there with the other woman while she's giving birth because that's something a husband or boyfriend would be there for. Have you discussed with both of them how you're going to be in the child's life? Are you planning to be?
Honestly, I don't have a straight answer for you. But maybe she would feel better if maybe she was also invited? This is just a screwed up situation and hard to come to a conclusion that would make anybody happy. You're lucky that she even forgave you and still wants to remain married to you, either way, having a child with another woman is going to put a major strain on your marriage. All I can give you is some insight as to why your wife would feel this way, she isn't the bad guy. Regardless if she forgave you or not, I think she's entitled to feel the way that she does.
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