A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:Hi I am married in a straight relationship and have always been curious of being at least bisexual. About a year after we got married I had a affair with a guy I loved everything about our relationship but upset of being married. I now find myself checking guys out and having sex with them. I love my wife but it sexual we have two children and a house between us aswell as two other children from previous sexual encounters I never wanted to develop a relationship with them it was just sex. I am now married but have been unfaithful to her with 4 sexual gay relationships. I love guys so much but don't want to upset my wife am I gay I don't want to live a lie.
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female
reader, Atsweet1  +, writes (17 February 2013):
 She most likely knows you are just wants to pretend like you do. Most men are into that now its not a surprise just take care of the children most importantly. In society plenty of married gay men plus women are acting str8. Its just coming out now. If it was just sex then you should have made that clear they probaly didnt want you for a husband til children were involved. I didnt want my husband For marriage and I was very aware of but buddies in my life from grandmother mom and me they tend to acttract to strong women for a reason. But be yourself people can do that Im more into women cause I always knew the men fancied each other more than women it was apparent this homo spirit has been following me for a while. Im not mad a my gay men lovers unless they fucked over my money housing and others things we have a problem then do what you need to do but don't bring me down cause of it. Its even in the bible about this so now people dont have to be so secretive be gay cross dress do whatever. I told my therapist my male therapist is homosexual he is not concern with helping me cause if so and these other organizations I wouldnt be homeless with children while they the secret homo lurks from behind. Like I did something wrong not hardly. He dont ever have to unmask his self to me or anyone else but if I dont get what I feel is just do Im go voice it one way or another regardless if Im a dike and he a fag.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2013): You're doing a very bad thing. How could you do that to your wife? You've slept with 4 different men and then claim you love her. That's not love.First of all, you are married, you shouldn't be sleeping around period, you're putting her health at risk also. If you are afraid to speak with her face to face try to get her alone for a bit, somewhere private, maybe you two could go away for the weekend to be alone.You could write a full letter explaining everything and give it to her while you wait in the next room. This way you can give her time to vent and cry and be upset and stuff without her being able to run off. This gives her the chance to ask questions and you best answer them.My heart goes out to your wife and it goes out to you too because it must be difficult for you but lying will only make thinks worse and you wont like that.Best o' luck.
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A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan +, writes (16 February 2013):
You don’t want to live a lie, but can’t you see that there is no way you can carry on like this and not live a lie. Not to mention the riskiness of multiple sexual encounters to you and your wife’s health if you are still having sex. The decision you face is this: could you accept your bisexual/homosexual desires cannot be indulged in order to protect the marriage, or do you want out of this marriage or know there’s no way you can remain in it and be faithful? If the former, then basically it’s no different to having attractions to other women: if you see a pretty girl there’s nothing wrong in finding her attractive, but as a married man you couldn’t do anything about those attractions. It’s no different with men. However, if you really can’t bury this, or don’t want to, the only thing you can do is sit your wife down and explain truthfully. Will that be awful? Yes, probably. How will this impact on her? Hard to say, but how would discovering the truth some other way impact on her even more? You do run the risk of being found out. That would be even worse for your wife and children.
Unfortunately for you, none of the choices you face are easy. Spouses react very differently to discoveries about their partner’s sexuality and that means you can’t know how your relationship with your wife would be affected. But if you don’t want to live a lie and keep taking risks, you either have to be honest with others and yourself.
I wish you all the very best.
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