| A
age
41-50,
*
writes: I am married for one year. My wife is very sexy and loving.But the problem is she feels lot of pain during intercourse.I haven't done yet full insertion because she screams in pain when I try to go into her full.So far I have to content with oral intercourse.Even there I had to persuade her to swallow the ejaculation. Please tell me ways so that I can have perfect intercourse.
View related questions:
ejaculation, swallow Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2008): I'm glad to know you have a caring and adventurous wife, and you are both trying hard to make your marriage work. Like Tish said it could be Vaginismus or a very thick Hymen (virginity) either way your next stop is to accompany your wife to the doctor because it's likely you will need medical treatment to solve this problem and get your sex life back on track.
A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (18 June 2008):
 Thanks for the followup. It does help to have the full picture to be able to offer advice. Your wife may have vaginismus, painful involuntary spasms of the vagina which prevent insertion.
Here's a little more information from webmd.com.
---
Vaginismus
If you have vaginismus -- a rare condition that fewer than 2% of women in the United States develop -- the muscles surrounding the vagina involuntarily spasm so tightly that you can’t have sexual intercourse or even insert a tampon.
The specific cause of vaginismus is unknown, but, as with vulvar vestibulitis and stress incontinence, physical therapy can be an invaluable “first line of treatment,” according to Erica Fletcher, PT, MTC, founder of Fletcher Physical Therapy in Narberth, Pa.
Fletcher and other physical therapists who specialize in pelvic floor disorders can correct structural abnormalities and design a manual therapy and exercise program that will retrain pelvic muscles that are too tight or too weak, depending on the condition. Their efforts can dramatically reduce symptoms—without the side effects of medication.
They also teach women the proper way to perform techniques at home, with dilators and their own fingers, to gently stretch and massage the muscles.
If a woman’s symptoms persist despite physical therapy, a doctor can inject Botox to paralyze muscles and prevent the spasms for up to six months.
Other treatments for vaginisimus include sex therapy, medications such as valium, and hypnotherapy.
----
So the best thing is to have a medical doctor evaluate her and then the best course of treatment can be selected.
Good luck!
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanx for all advice.But u got it wrong perhaps.Let me clear it was my wife who suggested oral sex as alternative.She wanted the cum sprayed on her face but I requested it to be in her mouth.She also asked me to try the anal one,but it's not that easy.Anyway I got the point of your advice.Thanx.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2008): Fifteen minutes Uncle Sneaker!!!!! I was tempted to say at least one hour, so lets cut the difference and call it 30minutes just to make sure.
...............................
A
male
reader, Uncle Sneaker  +, writes (17 June 2008):
Try intercourse with her on her back and her legs together after you've done a minimum of fifteen to thirty minutes foreplay.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2008): Thanks for that tuatara, I was being ironic and this gentleman may not have realised how disrespectful it is to nag your wife into giving you oral sex, when he is unable to provide the love and care that she needs to enjoy good sex.
Of course it is never exceptable to force your wife to give you oral sex, and swallowing is something that few women enjoy, and should only be done as a symbol of love from a woman who is free to say no to certain sexual activities that a husband may enjoy. Tustara is right, some of her difficulty may be down to you if you are a selfish and careless lover who dosen't take the time to find out what she wants and if you make her feel good.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2008): Hello my friend.
A couple of things came to mind reading your post.
First off, she may have a medical issue which is causing a problem. Or she may feelS pain and is unconfortable with sex.
I was not impressed with your comments about swallowing - you need to get that headspace sorted yourself here. NOT ALL WOMEN ENJOY SWALLOWING! SO THIS IS YOUR PROBLEM SUGGESTING SHE SHOULD. Forcing her is unacceptable - unacceptable.
In the event she has had little or no experiance sexually it is something she needs care, understanding and patience about. If your expectations are motivated around SEX and not caring and lovemaking, that may well be your problem to address.
Women are far more emotionally involved in intimacy and need to know they are not just a piece of meat to be available to husbands or partners. We need love, romance, attention and respect to fully respond to intimacy.
Equally you need to perhaps change your perspective on how you are behaving with her when wanting to be intimate. Could she be terrified, tense, and fearful of this part of your relationship?
All of these issues could well be why she is having difficulties. Talk to her and make her feel it is safe for her to share her views and thoughts about this. But don't be a bully or a husband demanding his rights. I think many times people assume sexual activities are something we all should be completely knowledgable about, when frequently women or men are sometimes not really sure what they are or are not supposed to do or think when it comes to sex.
If you love your wife, take care of this with her and not against her.
Don't assume that she is just not prepared to make love to you, find out if it is MEDICAL, try perhaps a sexual therapist, romance her and love her - without the pressue of performance on her part. She may be embarrassed or uncomfortable about discussing it and understand this and be respectful of this.
You need to connect spiritually, emotionally and with love to make your love life special. Forcing or encouraging oral may well be part of your problem.
Hope you two work it out, all the best.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2008): Well, I'm glad you've managed to get your sexual relief by her actions. Have you tried to give her oral sex and make sure that she's aroused as possible.
Women need plenty of foreplay to become aroused, this will provide the lubrication and juice you need to enter her body with the least amount of pain possible. It will also widen her sex and make things as easy as possible for her. Try to find out what she likes best, spend at least 30minutes kissing and carressing her before you try any penetration at all. Use KY Jelly or another type of lubricant to make sure she's slippery enough.
If this dosen't work, and here I'm assuming she's a virgin, it might be that her hymen (virginity) is too thick to be broken in the normal way and she must have it done by a doctor. If the foreplay thing dosen't work, then take her to see a doctor and get the thing removed before you attempt sex again.
...............................
A
female
reader, SugarCookie +, writes (17 June 2008):
First off send her to the doctor. It sound like she has internal problems that are not your fault. Something might be wrong with her cervix or her uterus. Also you might be hitting her cervix. I had an exam where the dr messed with my cervix I was sweatting and shaking in pain it was so bad I took a second thought about having kids. The only thing I can say is try using A LOT of lube so you slide past everything and try positions where you wont go in that deep like on your guys' sides or her flat on her stomach where you slide inbetween her legs it will keep most of you out, but it really sound like she need to go to the doctor.
...............................
|
