A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i posted a question about my mum findin out I lost my virginity and with her grounding me and not lettin me see him for a while cause she believes i should have wait and that i've throwin it away and that she cant trust me cause i lied to her. so thing is i have an interview tomo that my bf said he will come with me but a dont know if he should cause i dont want to get caught and make things worse and have my mum sayin i cant see him anymore. though how can she find out cause she will be at her work. A really dont know what to do as am dyin to see him again and missin him so much and think it would do me good to see him. has anyone any advice in what to do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2008): Stuff I don't know what you can do, but I kinda agree with Trish, honesty is the best policy. I know you need your boyfriend right now, but your mum also needs you to change your behaviour and become her little girl right now. Can you do without him for a couple of weeks/months at least, whilst you work on repairing her trust and making her understand that you are adult enough to make good decisions and know what you want out of life? Sorry but I have no better advice, and if you sneak with him behind your back she may never trust you again. It's not worth it, just wait a little while untill she gets used to the whole idea of you too being together.
A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (17 June 2008):
 I'm not really sure that lying to your mother again is a good strategy for regaining her trust in you. I expect she may find out about it (mothers do have a sixth sense sometimes) and will be deeply hurt that you chose to disregard her rules. It might make you feel better for an hour, but just how will this make her feel? Will you ever be allowed out of the house again until you're 35?
I know that it's hard not to see your boyfriend right now, but if you behave responsibly and like a grown up, your mother will come around eventually. I expect she's hurt and angry and feels that she's doing a bad job at being your mother. She is responsible for you and your well-being until you move out on your own. Don't hold that against her.
So I'm going to ask that you put yourself in her shoes and try to understand why she's laid out these rules. And then think about what it is that you can do to get back into her good graces again. It might just be a matter of behaving like an adult for a bit, and sacrificing a little of your own happiness for a short while, until she comes around.
Take care.
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A
female
reader, nettles +, writes (17 June 2008):
 I hated lying to my parents but I think you are of an age where you can decide who you want to be in a relationship with. If yo really want to see him then ask him to come along to your interview with you, your mum shouldn't find out but you should think about telling her (after the meeting)
Tell her that you really love your bf and thats why you slept with him, not being able to see him will mean that you have thrown your virginity away as obviously the relationship could not continue.
Hope this helps!
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