A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My wife cheated on me with a friend that I engaged to do some work for me while I was away from home. He had to keep contact with her to ensure work is completed and he even visited my home in my absence.He spilled the beans to someone close to me and I believe he wanted me to know it. And that is what happened because he even slept with her in my house in the presence of the a relative who witnessed them make love.We have been married for over ten years and have been separated for 8 years on and off due to work and we have 3 children together.I discovered it two months ago and I was so angry and now I dont trust her at all. I believe the relationship had been going on for more than two years and flourished whenever I was away from home as the guy put it. He even said that it is my wife who looked for him whenever I left and he said they were deeply in Love and that If I discovered they ( him and my wife would know what to do.I got her to confess she slept with him in my house because the evidence I had was so overwhelming. And it happened in the presence of my children who even know the man slept in the house.She was very smart and hid the relationship from me for long because I could not suspect it since the guy would disappear whenever I was at home.The neighbours knew it and could not tell me since I did not interact much with them.I believe what I discovered is just a tip of the ice berg.What should I do with her. She is devastated by my discovery and she wanted to commit a crime and or leave. I Love her and want to get over the issue.
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cheated on me, engaged, neighbour Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2009): you cannot mend this relationship. you have been a fool for so long now don't be one now that you know the truth. your wife will not stop her affair. she is very conniving and is a lair. what a role model has she been to your kids. imagine having sex with this man in your home with the kids present. so much for respecting her marital home. you will be better off with another woman who will love only you. this wife of yours has made you a laughing stock in front of your neighbours, friends and family. she will not be content with just you. please keep your pride and dignity. your wife is just messing with you. your wife is only devastated because you caught her out. you were a fool for 2 years do not continue,if you do then you only have yourself to blame.
your wife did had no respect for you as her hb, she will not in future as well. do not wait for her to destroy you. slowly pice by piece she will destroy you. you may love her but you will not be able to trust her ever again. you will always be wondering what she is up to. do you want to live the rest of your life like this.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2009):
Thank you all for your feedback. I will try to see a marriage counsellor and mend the relationship.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2009): I think you only live once and it would be a waste to spend your presious time with a person with weak character. You can find a good women that would not hurt you. We are out there!!don't listen to your fears.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2009): My guy,ur gonna have to accept she was able to carry on and look u in the eye as normal while all this was going on. Of course she is devastated. she got found out. I am a strong believer that you have those who lie and cheat and those who love their partner and wouldnt dream of it. Yes you love her but let her move out. you have got a better life ahead of you without her.
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A
male
reader, RAINORFIRE  +, writes (14 July 2009):
 Then start by telling her you forgive her. shes only human. men like to think their wife or gf is perfect we even try to hold them to a higher standard than ourselves but theyre just flesh n blood and susceptible to all the temptations we are. if you love her and want to be with i would suggest a marriage counselor. with you being gone as much as you say, its no doubt she got lonely
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