A
male
age
51-59,
*onfused dad
writes:Hello. Three and a half years ago, my wife of nearly 8 years had an affair and wanted me out of the family home so she could move in her new partner. At the time our children were 4 and 3. In a whirlwind i left and started a new relationship. I was insecure and my new relationship gave me confidence, despite warning signs. I divorced and married my new partner just over 2 years ago.However my new partner had mental health and addiction issues. I invested very large sums of money in her business and helped her through her own divorce. I ended up having to sell my house to pay off debts after the business failed. I also moved overseas for a short time, seperating me from our children so she could look for work. However, her addictions became worse and lies were told and trust went.In the meantime, my first wife ended her relationship and underwent extensive therapy and is a completely changed person. I moved back to be near my children and my second marriage has deteriorated. Should i end my marriage and go back to my first wife, putting our family back together? Should i stay with my second wife despite all that has gone wrong? I miss my children dearly, i also have only ever wanted a family and to enjoy that. What should i do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2010): while married your wife had an affair. then she left you to be with her lover.you married , your present wife has drug issues. wonder what is worse being dependant on a drug or dependant on someone else's d*ck. you seem to have forgotten how your ex wife treated you .she destroyed you to be with her lover. hey man, she f*cked around but it seems like you have a short memory. and now she wants to cheat with you on your current wife. sounds like a circus! if you care anything for your present wife please get her professional help for her addictions. at least she is not a cheater. think about this. your ex cared nothing of destroying her marriage and putting her kids through hell. now you want to destroy your present wife by hooking up with the ex cheater. Mr, THE saying once a cheater......., please do not forget this. your wife will do the same to you , this you can count on. what do you have on your foolhead: the word "fool" or the word " man". be a man and help your present wife. you owe her that much.
A
male
reader, Ti6er  +, writes (15 January 2010):
My best advice is to stay single. Your first wife cheated and wanted you out because the guy she cheated with gave her false hopes and promises. Remember, once a cheated always a cheated and once a liar, always a liar.
A wife or girlfriend, once they lie to you, they will continue to do so simply because they have to lie more to cover their other lies. You can never get a stright answer from them unless the relationship started out with honesty.
Once a wife or girlfriend cheated on you, they will always be looking for another person that have qualities they don't find in you. It's always been that way and it will always be that way. Hence, once a cheater, always a cheater.
I personally have been cheated on by my ex-wife, hence she's my ex-wife. My current wife has cheated on my numerous time just as my theory holds correctly about cheater being cheaters. Even though my current wife never cheated on her ex-boyfriends she has cheated on my numerous time. I'm just waiting until I get out of the military to divorce that whore.
Woman usually cheats on you and when they realize they have a better man at home, they come crawling back begging for forgiveness, only to do it again and getting the same results because not all man are their knight in shinning armor as potray in movies and literture.
My best advice is find someone else that will love you for who you are and accept the flaws and learn to love the flaws in you. Find someone that will be happy to know that they are indeed lucky to have someone like you to share their life with.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (15 January 2010):
I think to be honest you should certainly end this second marriage. It sounds like a nightmare. However, I think rather than just go back to your first wife, you should spend some time alone and just live your own life for a while, so you can really think about what you want from it. You deserve to be happy for yourself, so spend time alone and make sure you do what your heart says. If your first wife really has changed and wants you back, she'll understand that you'll need to take your time.
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A
female
reader, lioness32 +, writes (14 January 2010):
 Ok this is what i think, i think you should have never married the second wife, especially if you had warning signs. Now you said your first wife is a changed women but, is she sorry for what she did. And does she want you back in her life. If she does then i would definitely leave the second wife and try to go back to my family. But make sure you are sure about what you are doing because your second wife does not sound like shes healthy mentally, but you do deserve to be happy. You get one life and you should live it to its fullest. So make sure your first wife has gotten her act together, as you don't want to relive heartache and pain. hope all goes well
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