A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: My girlfriend told me she going to give her virginity (I didn’t pressure her and I’m not a virgin). We waited until my birthday to do it just to make a bit more fun. She acted really nervous around me. When the day come she was really freaked. I didn’t think much of it and just ignore it. We started with foreplay. I unhooked her bra she got really upset and she ran out the room crying. The weird part is that she usually doesn’t care if I do it or not. Did I do something wrong?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2009): http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-told-him-to-wait-then-i-freaked.html
Your both asking about eachother on the same online site...
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2009): Yes she freaked and you didn't think much about it. think on
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A
male
reader, RAINORFIRE +, writes (17 July 2009):
whats the big deal girls and this virginity thing another great mystery of life, any way dude get a new gf one thats on your level shes a virgin so the sex wont be all that great shell probably lay there like a dead fish no a dead snail im sure you had your heart set on it but its just not meant to be sex is mutch better with a girl who actualy knows something about it instead of seeking out virgins to deflower to ad another notch to your totem, it just sucks she bailed on you bd present drop this little girl and get a womam i also agree with what basschick says
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A
female
reader, Georgia13 +, writes (16 July 2009):
i dont think u did anything rong!the other times she knew that it wasnt leading to sex but for some girls when they know its leading to losing her virginity its crazy scarey just tell her that your there for her and comfort her and tell her that u dont have to haved sex until shes ready
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A
female
reader, Basschick +, writes (15 July 2009):
The fact that the two of you were talking about this, tells me she was already feeling pressured. You may not have intentionally pressured her, but it's there in underlying ways. She may feel like she has to give in to keep you because if she doesn't you'll go off with some other chick who will. Oh yeah, there's definately pressure on us when it comes to stuff like this. Personally I don't think your g/f is mature enough to handle a sexual relationship right now. I think she will regret it once it happens and if you guys break up, she'll hate you for betraying her and taking the one thing she tried to hold onto. It would be best to back off and just hang out together without things getting sexual. I know tihs will be hard for you but it's the best thing. If she brings up the sex thing again, tell her it would be best to wait awhile longer because it's a big step and it's better if she has more time to grow up and mature. Good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2009): Yea, that's right what Samii says. She'll love you all the more for being patient and understanding.
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A
male
reader, Jason32477 +, writes (15 July 2009):
Yes and no. I would say that this girl loves you ,but has fears and doubt.If you care about the girl try talking to her and explain that sex is not a big deal.Ask her to let you know whenever she is not comfortable and that you will respect her wishes.Just take a step back and let her set the pace.It may be a little difficult as the male in the relationship for its generally the male that sets the pace. Learn what she is and is not comfortable with and don`t press for more.When she is ready she will let you know.And even if she says she is ready talk to her about it to make sure."She acted really nervous". "When the day come she was really freaked". These were obviously signs that she wasn`t ready and you need to pay attention to them in the future.And most of all even if you feel you did nothing wrong .... Apologize.
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A
female
reader, Rachel O +, writes (15 July 2009):
it doesnt sound like you did anything wrong, something has obv upset her,sit down with her and asked why she got upset, maybe something happened in the past or she got too nervous and didnt know what to do so got upset,sounds to me like she isnt ready to loose her virginity.Give her lots of affection to reassure her and so she knows that you love her.x
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