A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I need help! Ive been with my boyfriend for about two years now and we are both so happy together. Im buddhist so i have strong views about a lot of things. One of them is animal rights. I know this is a really extreme veiw but i think animals are equal to humans and im planning on spending the rest of my life helping them. So the problem is, i found out the other day my boyfriend had been going shooting behind my back. (i understand everyone that rabbit and foxes etc numbers need to be controlled and i especially understand why farmers need to hunt) But my boyf isnt a farmer or anything, he was just doing it for fun. And its hurt me so much that he would do that. especially without telling me knowing how i would feel. I cant look at him the same imagening him killing, but i think it would be so hard if we broke up. I feel so torn. Does anybody know what i should do? thanks x x x
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2009): Did he eat the food afterwards?
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2009): I believe this is what is called "teen angst". You seem like a reasonably intelligent person from the way you frame things. I think you probably can reason through this situation. You might consult one of those chaps with in the saffron dress and bounce it off of them. Just have your thought organized before you have the talk so they dont palm off a nonsensical koan on you. - Are you responsible for your bf behavior?- What is the "evil" here? If its the pain caused to the rabbit, is it more or less pain in the hunting method than if the rabbit was pecked to death by an owl?- Would your breaking up with him change anything? Would he still hunt with his friends?- What other areas might your bf's behaviors conflict with your beliefs? - Why did it "hurt you so much"? Did you have the impression you were in agreement on this? Or do you have a preconception about the type of person that would sport hunt?- What if he sport hunted and then donated the animals to a food bank? Does that effect your ethical evaluation of the situation?
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A
male
reader, 40somethingguy +, writes (11 November 2009):
As i understand our beliefs, tolerance should always be practised.
Your BF is doing something that he feels he needs to do or that needs to be done.
That does not mean that you have to agree with his actions you cannot force your beliefs upon another, he must see his error for himself.
You may help him to understand that a life is a life, in what ever encarnation it is in, but he will not react well to haveing your beliefs thrust upon him.
Tolerance and understanding, with a little gentle education, would seem to be the key to a resolution.
You are still young and the things that are of greatest imortance to you now will change as you age, if you study well you will learn as time passes that passion is replaced with wisdom and understanding.
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A
female
reader, PeanutButter  +, writes (11 November 2009):
 If you are very strong in your beliefs it could be that he didn't want to tell you about the hunting because he knew that it would upset you, but didn't not want to go either so he went. I doubt he was thinking too much when he went, he obviously doesn't have a problem with it, but instead of hiding it from you to be disrespectful he was probably trying to protect your feelings but didn't think about the consequences when you found out.
I think I agree that you have to find a way to agree to disagree on the matter of animal rights because he obviously doesn't have the same view as you do - this doesn't mean that you can't have a good relationship regardless of that fact.
You need to talk to him and be honest about your views and thoughts on the situation and ask him to be open and honest with you about his views too. You can then decide how you feel about the situation and whether it is worth breaking up a good relationship or not.
Many people from all walks of life have views that might offend or upset another person, but as with everybody else, each individual is entitles to their own opinion.
Your partner shouldn't feel that you're putting your views on him, and that everything he does is disallowed and he shouldn't be discouraging you from keeping to what you believe in either. But. You are going to have to find a way to accept that he has apposing views to your own and live with them, or else i'm afraid you might have to find someone else that is more compatible.
Good luck xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2009): Im a buddhist too, but I believe in dinner sorry.
I have to agree with you though, I dont get hunting either and if it isnt for food then I also believe its murder. ( I dont even kill spiders)
I do think he was trying to spare your feelings and didnt want to upset you. So the real question is for you to ask yourself. Can you let this go or is it too much?
Figure that out and you have our answer
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