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My Uncle has cancer and won't stop smoking. Am I over-reacting by wanting him to stop?

Tagged as: Family, Health<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (6 October 2007) 1 Answers - (Newest, 6 October 2007)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, anonymous writes:

My Uncle has cancer. It is a tumour at the back of his throat and he has already started radiology. The doctor says that he will have radiology and chemo and if it doesnt work he will have to have his voicebox removed.

His doctor told him to stop smoking, which my uncle has ignored. I am angry at him for this. I do understand that he has been smoking a long time, and normally i wouldnt hassle anyone to stop. Most of my relatives smoke you see. I also know that its no use shutting the stable door once the horse has bolted and maybe stopping wouldnt matter, but it would to us, his family and my cousin, his daughter.

My cousin has been through so much and i keep thinking my uncle is being very selfish. My cousins grandparents died when she was young on her mothers side and then my auntie, her mum commited suicide a few years back, which obviously devastated my cousin.

So i am thinking more of her and how it will affect her too. She was angry with him in the first place because when he found out, he didnt tell her until many hours afterwards and my mum had to rush down to console her.

My mum also smokes, my uncle's sister, and their auntie asked whether it had scared her. My mum said no. So then she asked me if i was scared for mum and i said no, because i knew my mum would never give up.

I don't think i have any right to be angry at my uncle. But i do at my mum. But whatever any of us say, me, my cousin, my dad, and the rest of the family, my uncle nor my mum will stop smoking.

I would have thought this was a wake up call, but obviously not.

I am just so angry i just wanted to post this and see if any of you think i am over-reacting.

Thanks for reading x

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A female reader, Agony-Hannah United Kingdom +, writes (6 October 2007):

No Way!

I totally agree with you.

And hey, take it easy on yourself too! It's not just your cousin who's been through a dodgy time. YOU lost an Aunty, when she lost a mother. It's nice to see you're caring about other people and not yourself. Have a word with your Uncle, but don't expect too much.

Thanks :) x

Hope it helps.

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