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age
30-35,
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writes: Well, I'm guy and I'm 25 years old. My problem is not very common, I guess. My own brother hates me and I don't understand why. We're identical twins, we're really like two drops of water. I know it should be that twins are best friends each to other, but unfortunately not in our case. My brother despises me already from early childhood. We're arguing very often, we have even fought. Usually he's the one who starts arguments and I also don't have the biggest patience. He has said he hates that there's one more person with his face. But it's not my fault that we were born together! Our parents believe that we will settle this by ourselves but I don't think this will happen. In our birthdays he always runs away from house and come back only in the next day. If he's talking to me, then these are only offenses. I don't understand what have I done to him. He has even said in my face - you're not my brother, I hate you. But in spite of everything I love him so much, I feel like he's a part of me and I would like to make up once and for all. What can I do?
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (5 October 2012):
 This is not your fault what so ever. It looks to me like your brother has built up a lot of anger from his childhood which he leashes out on to you. My guess is that he feels like he doesn't have his own identity. You are right most identical twins do share a close bond and I can tell this is what you want for you and your twin which is only natural. He has issues due to feeling like he is part of a duo and not got his own identity, he needs help to see that he is his own person the same that you are but you should still have a close relationship. I think you should talk to your parents about this, tell them how upset this makes you feel and ask for there help in trying to get him to understand he does not need to act like this towards you. You try talking to him yourself also, you are not children any more but grown men, talk to him and ask him straight out what his problem is and ask him can you both try and rebuild bridges and try for some sort of relationship. Maybe the both of you could go on a night out together. He just needs to accept that he has a twin who looks like him but try and make him see that you are still two people of your own rights.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2012): Hi
I am a twin but girl boy, none the less 'twin' so some understanding.
Your other half is a SELFISH LITTLE XXXX and you have done nothing wrong.
I guess you try and be very different from each other, having different friends is good and different hobbies.
What you could do to ease the situation is just try and be independent from him (for now)make that extra effort to do things that he does not do and i guess you both dress very differently? if you don't, you should develop your own styles. Do you both like different types of music?
These ideas sound trivial but are very important in letting your twin brother know HOW DIFFERENT YOU ARE FROM HIM...don't worry just be YOU! and let him be HIM!
Twins do have a special bond but characters are different and must be developed seperatley.
Spunky Monkey
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2012): "I love him so much, I feel like he's a part of me and I would like to make up once and for all. What can I do?"You've done nothing wrong, you have nothing to make up.Can only assume your brother has long-term, deep-seated issues leaving huge voids and gaping chasms in his psyche, and until he realizes he has a problem and decides to seek professional help to resolve it, all you can do is cope with his irrational behavior the best you can.I suggest you seek counselling, for the assurance whatever is troubling your brother is NOT your fault, and for the coping skills and strategies you need to peacefully co-exist with him. "Our parents believe that we will settle this by ourselves but I don't think this will happen."I'm sorry but your parents are clueless and oblivious and in denial. They should have sought help for your brother years ago. Counselling will also help you safely release the pent-up anger and frustration you have every right to be experiencing towards them. You've done nothing wrong. Your brother has a problem. Your parents have a problem in failing to recognize your brother has a problem. You need help to cope with their problems without making it your problem, which it isn't and never was. Best wishes.
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