A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My teacher just blows my mind.I think Im actually in love with her,I know that isn't right but I'v never felt the way she makes me feel.I always thought that she was attractive and she is only 23.We talk all the time out of class,she texts me and calls me a lot we stay in touch but never have we actually touched lol.She's always telling me that she cares about me a lot and how she loves me but I don't know what she means by that and it's driving me crazy,but every time I want to ask I get to nervous I dont know why.I have my advantages in class because of it to,it's sort of like a free pass to pass.I wish I knew if she wanted more then just friendship or not,I mean she flirts with me all the time and seems very interested in my life because she always wants to know everything about it.How can I find out how she really feels for me or if she wants to make somthing work.
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male
reader, Dr Vendetta  +, writes (13 June 2008):
 Blowing your mind is probably the most action you're going to see.
maybe wait a few year and let your big boy hair grow in and your balls drop.
A
male
reader, guaranteed +, writes (13 June 2008):
It is interesting that one of your first comments is "I know it isn't right" and then at then end of your comment you ask "How can I find out how she really feels for me".
Emotions are not rational and sexuality is part of our emotional makeup. Many people think that men can be sexual without emotiona but it is not true. Men and women have the same emotions they just express them differently.
Women are much more complex than men. They are more complex communicators, observers and thinkers. Woman have a greater vocabulary then men, the are able to express themselves in ways men find difficult. They can see things quicker than a man can, in the sense that they have better peripheral vision. When I say thinkers, I do not mean they are more intelligent than men just more complex and can often multi task when men find it difficult.
This teacher may just be being friendly. She is inexperienced and may have crossed the line between relating to students and professionalism. Would you feel the same about her if she was ugly and unattractive?
Men are stimulated sexually by visual images much more quickly than women. If you have a teacher who is attractive and she is in front of you all day, you are bound to appreciate the experience, any male would. There will be a little fantasy playing in most male students heads when an attractive teacher is around. The fact that she is a teacher and the attraction is taboo will make it even more powerful.
What you need to realise is that you are entertaining a fantasy. It may be an exciting fantasy but even if were possible to have an affair with this teacher. It will more than likely lead to disaster for both of you.
Remember that the teacher could lose their job and career if they are inappropriate with students even if the age gape is not too different. A teacher who abuses a privileged position can get into serious trouble. You do not say your age but you also need to realise there could be legal ramifications. Would you really want your teacher to be put in jail? Would you want to be expelled? Do you want to be humiliated?
You already know to pursue this is wrong. But you are battling the strong sexual fantasy. It is not clear if the teacher feels anything but she is being very foolish sending text messages. I would see this as a fantasy and nothing more. Many students have fantasies about attractive teachers. It is an artificial way of meeting people you would normally never meet socially and spent time with them. It is not a real environment.
On a completely opposite note. I actually know a female student I used to go to school with who fancied a male teacher for years. They waited and were not sexually inappropriate until she left school. They then dated and eventually got married. But even with this true life story his character was tarnished as a teacher forever and they will never live without that stigma.
Be wise and fantasise about girls your own age.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2008): THis is very sad. This teacher is not being fiar towards you. She of all people should know that what is happeing is very wrong and can cause a lot of problems for her and her career and endless problems and embarrasment for you to.
I suggest you do make an effort not to get involved any more then what you already are. Try and avoid being alone with her and start ignoring her text messages.
I know you might feel very flattered by all her attention and even have feelings for her, but quit all your hopes of an affair or relationship with this woman, she is leading you to hurt and disaster.NOTHING GOOD CAN COME FROM THIS!
Move on, please move on. Find a girl that you can have an open, honest relationship with, that will value and love you, and who you can share all the good things of a relationship with.
If you have a good open relationship with your parents do discuss this with them.
This might be a very difficult situation for you now, but believe me, if you do not quit, it will get far worse!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2008): THis is very sad. This teacher is not being fiar towards you. She of all people should know that what is happeing is very wrong and can cause a lot of problems for her and her career and endless problems and embarrasment for you to.
I suggest you do make an effort not to get involved any more then what you already are. Try and avoid being alone with her and start ignoring her text messages.
I know you might feel very flattered by all her attention and even have feelings for her, but quit all your hopes of an affair or relationship with this woman, she is leading you to hurt and disaster.NOTHING GOOD CAN COME FROM THIS!
Move on, please move on. Find a girl that you can have an open, honest relationship with, that will value and love you, and who you can share all the good things of a relationship with.
If you have a good open relationship with your parents do discuss this with them.
This might be a very difficult situation for you now, but believe me, if you do not quit, it will get far worse!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2008): You are aware that she WILL lose her job at the very least if you continue, right?They seem more lenient of female teachers, but dude.My advice, you can flirt with her and love each other all you want. But keep it all in your pants, and she will need to keep her legs closed, until at the very least you are far, far away from that school.Flynn 24
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