A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes: Overall, I am a few months shy from eighteen years of age, and just happens to be infatuated with my literature teacher (who is single and in his mid thirties) for a year now. Before you render this situation as another teacher/student relationship that should be disregarded, I would like to explain the details of this infatuation. Furthermore, I have tendency to rant, and so, I will try to be clear and concise as much as possible. Quick facts about my teacher: -he loves to build good, genuine connections with his students-he sincerely cares for their well being - unlike most professors at my school-he likes to talk about his personal life and listen to others' as well Initially, I was enamored with the image of him, because it fit so perfectly well with my high standards of integrity. Yet, ever since I had the chance to have countless deep conversations with him and explore his mind, I found that I truly adore my teacher for the person he is. Sure he has a few habits that make me twitch and traits that I am not particularly fond of, nevertheless, he has a beautiful heart that is impossible to find nowadays. Of course, there are plentiful amounts of nice guys in stock, but I've never seen loyalty and integrity as great as his. Honestly, if he were just simply classmate of mine, I would date him in a heartbeat, or pursued him until he complied. ^. Anyway, I do not mind that he's about twenty years older than me, because, in my opinion, one can't place an age limit on love. (Note: My feelings for him is not love yet, merely just an infatuation. Love is a powerful emotion that is created through history built together, which doesn't develop within a matter of minutes.) However, age does present itself as a challenge, and during my spare time, I contemplated how this relationship would be possible... if it happened. Naturally, there are things to consider: family, children, marriage, jobs, etc. He has a stable career and obviously, financially independent while I will be attending a nearby university this fall and after graduation, transfer to some graduate school yet relying occasionally on my parents (and the only guy I would introduce to my parents, is my fiance). I love living in my area, so it's highly doubtful that I will move miles away unless it is to study abroad for a year. And I believe long distant relationships work as long as there both partners are willing to commit and trust. As for children and marriage, he wishes to build a strong bond with his significant other before he makes any life-changing decisions. So, that'd be about five years in the making, and I will most likely be ready for them in my mid-twenties. Ultimately, due to my horrible past experiences, I am very cynical about a guy's performance as romantic partner. Therefore, I do not like to have my feelings be fooled around with or engage in flings. Also, I tend to be cautious in my decisions, and put a hundred percent into their execution. Certainly, I will keep my real feelings undisclosed until I become legal, because it'd be unethical to jeopardize another's career for the sake of one's own desires. Even when I do reach the age, I'd still like to spend another year experimenting our friendship, before anything happens. Meanwhile, if he does get a girlfriend (who's hopefully older, has a real career, and a good heart ), I'd be a bit downcasted, but I'll be glad that he has found a person to love- and possibly, someone who he has been looking for all his life. I highly respect him as a person and as a teacher, therefore, I want what is best for him. If he truly believes this relationship will not work, I will agree without moment's hesitation. Though, whatever may happen, I ultimately hope I will gain a true friend in return. Please read the info entirely above before answering: And this is where I'd like to hear your advice: should I continue this infatuation, give him a less subtle hint -after I become legal, or (probably futilely) attempt to forget it? (Since, I am so smitten with his personality, that it would take a very long, long time to accomplish.) -Thank youvery much for reading (and giving advice - if you did)P.S - It's rather strange of me to be so grave for I have frivolous tendencies, yet I'm dealing with an older person, hence, it would be wise to take a thoughtful approach.
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fiance, get a girlfriend, my teacher, shy, university Reply to this Question
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female
reader, kitty_3 +, writes (6 March 2009):
 Exactly. This is (almost) exactly the question i've been wanting to ask but haven't been able to put into words. did it work out for you guys?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2007): I think that you are doing fine handling this siltation. However, do you think he feels the same way about you. For example, any hints, eye contacts, etc. Also, spend more time talking to him and getting to know him better. a good idea would be to go by him after school and talk about a "life problem" etc, and have a conversation about that. listen to the things he has to say, and then sit down and reflect upon them. because he is your teacher, there are somethings which a student cannot fully know about a teacher, however, if you try to analyze his answers, maybe you can find something about him that you never noticed. just keep going by him for advise. he seems really open minded which is a plus for you. i also think you are a very mature girl, which makes your chances with him even better. usually when girls write entries like these, i would assume that it is a "little" crush, but you seem to be above that level which makes chances better for you. so yeah, just try to talk to him more, also, I'm guessing that you're a senior, and he is a literature teacher, so why not ask for a little tutoring session regarding your "college essay" ;- ). and write about a topic which is intellect, which can help you see his point of views on interesting issues.
much love.
i hope this helps! if anything pm me for anymore advise!
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A
female
reader, Shatteredglasses +, writes (31 May 2006):
Awe hun, I wish I knew what to tell you. Does he act differently towards you than other students? Wow, this is one difficult question. I mean you cannot deny feelings for someone else. I know how you feel in a way and I am having a hard time dealing with mine! Maybe I should post a question and let you answer it. It seems like you know exactly what the pros and cons are. All I can say is gl!
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much for your responses.
I attend a public school and he's about nineteen years older than me.
(Don't worry, I'm not going to pull off anything regretful until I've graduated and turned 18.
And alas, there's the problem....I'm not sure what to do afterwards.)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2006): Is he a teacher at a public or demorcatic school? The reason I am asking is it might work after you turn 18 if he is at a demorcatic school since they have different rules. Exactly how much older is he then you also? The reason why I am asking if he is only 30 to 31 that isnt to much of a difference. I wish you luck and you do have a good outlook on this situation either way it goes!
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A
female
reader, Jadzia1127 +, writes (29 May 2006):
 It sounds like you have a very good head on your shoulders and you are trying to think this through.
Just as a rule of thumb you should wait until you are legal and out of the class before pursuing a teacher. As long as you are underage and in his class it is a bad idea.
It sounds like you are dealing really well with the situation, using your head no matter how far your emotions want to take it.
GOOD LUCK!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTo further clarify the topic: My teacher is the one in his mid thirties and I am the one who's almost 18.
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