A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am a 16 years old girl and is in love with my house teacher of a boarding school I live in. He is 38 years old, married, and has a 3 years old son.I was sad in my very first days in school, since I 'm not so fluent with the language of the country I just moved to and it was really hard to 'fit in' with the others who live in the same house. Then he came to me, asked about my feelings and so on. We talked a lot and it really helped, because he made feel a lot better. Since that time, we began to talk a lot each time we met, and getting closer by days. I have a complikated family and the relationship between mom and my step dad is not really good, and I told him my problems since he's the only one I can completely trust. I like it when he rubs my back each time we meet. It's like he can sweep away my problems by doing so.As we get closer to each other. I began to feel something that I shouldn't have. I began to look at him not merely as a friendly house teacher, but more like a man. I know I shouldn't feel this way. I have even actually met his wife, who is from the same country I'm from! Who would expect that? We have talked together, casual talk of course. My feelings weren't this strong and I didn't really think much about him that time. Now me and my teacher are so close. My friends say that he is a very shy guy, which is strange for me, as he is so open when we talk together. He also "kicks" me for fun sometimes - it doesn't hurt at all, and when I asked why does he do that, he says that he only "kicks" those he likes. He then said that he "kicks" no one but only me. I have eventually asked him about what kind of girls that guys go after and what does he think about it. He answered "sweet girls". I asked him for further explanation and he said that I'm one of the sweet girls in his opinion. He said that I'm sweet and nice to talk with. He cares a lot of me. I just found out that he secretly asked other teachers about how am I doing in classes, to make sure that I'm okay.So far, we have only hugged each other, of course, not in front of public. I know this feeling is forbidden and my feeling is not meant to be returned. It's not like I want to ruin his marriage. I truly don't. But I don't know what to do. I've tried to fancy some boys in school, but at the end, my feelings return to him again.Please help me with serious answers, because I really don't know what to do.
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male
reader, gr3g  +, writes (29 October 2008):
well im in 8th grade and my teacher got busted with a student and he is now in jail facing 5 years for rape but it wasnt rape she was just under aged
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your opinions. I highly appreciate them! Well, deep inside my heart, I know that me having no father for years affects my way of seeing men. I'm more attracted to mature men, someone who cares of me.Again, thanks for all the opininons!
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A
female
reader, Tevote  +, writes (28 September 2008):
 Look no one can truly tell you what exactly to do, or how you should feel. These feelings are natural and they happen, you know very well that you cannot act upon these feelings because it can jeprodize him and yourself.
This does not mean that you have to stop talking to him, it's probably healthy that you are able to trust him and tell him things you wouldn't tell others. From what you've said I don't think you see him as a father figure, yes you do see him as a man. Someone you care for, who is a good friend and you can trust.
Just continue talking to him casually, be careful not to take anything to far. But overall it's alright to feel this way about him.
Goodluck
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2008): What you are going through is normal. This man cares about you, and since your relationship with your stepdad is not good, this man has become a substitute father figure for you. but I have to ask a question, are you sexually attracted to this teacher? By that I mean, have you actually fantasized about having sex with him, or would you like to have sex with him? As long as he is married, you should not pursue anything with him. because not only would you ruin his marriage, but he could go to prison for having sex with an underage girl. If you have a thing for older men, maybe try to get one of your girl friends to fix you up with her older brother, or an uncle, cousin, etc.
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