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age
26-29,
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writes: My female friend is pregnant . (We're both 15) she wants me and her boyfriend (he's 16) to help tell her parents. She thinks they'll going kick her out or something if there's no witnesses. I just dont want be get involght cause it's not my business. She's mad at me for not helping her in her "time of need". Am I a bad friend? I mean if she didnt want a baby why did she have sex?
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionMy friend hasnt talked to her parents since they kick her out. She's still living with me.
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female
reader, Hopeful Romantic  +, writes (19 November 2008):
 That is a great name!
Is she still living w/ you, has she made up w/ her parents & possibly moved in w/ her boyfriend instead?
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionJust so know you my friend had a baby girl last week her name is Crystal
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2008): I know she's your friend, and one of my friends are exactly the same when it comes to stuff like that. But she got pregnant in the first place and she shouldn't let you suffer.
She does need your support, but asking to be thier when she tells her parents? If she wanted support then she's got her boyfriend.
A moment like that should be between her, the boyfriend and the parents. It's out of her place to ask that.
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male
reader, Boonridge McPhalify  +, writes (4 October 2008):
 as bad as her situation was how uncaring are her parents to chuck her out at fifteen with a baby. makes you think
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi everyoneSo My friend and her boyfriend (me too but for moral support) went to her tell parents. And they were mad. They kick her out. Shes living with me now. So much drama.
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female
reader, Hopeful Romantic +, writes (1 October 2008):
I hope all goes well and/or went well. Remember - you never have to do anything a friend asks you to do, but if you really care for them and love them deeply as a friend, then you try to be there any time they need you. :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI decided to help her tell parents but I'm just going to be in the same room and not say anything.
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male
reader, Boonridge McPhalify +, writes (27 September 2008):
hello-the reason she wants you there is because she thinks that your presence will make her parents hold back, but this is manipulative and they would really not appreciate you being there.be there for her when she needs help but you are not her pawn in a game of playing people against each other.i had a friend who would encourage me to go to his house when he knew his mum was fuming and thought she would say less if i was there. it didn't work and she always seemed annoyed that i was in the way. i soon cottoned on to this childish pattern and avoided these situations...
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2008): Your friend and her boyfriend have been rather irresponsible by making babies at their age, and as such have been acting like adults. Now it's time for them both to behave like adults and face the music. If they think they are old enough to be having sex then they are old enough to stand up straight and tell both their sets of parents that they are going to be grandparents quite soon.
Looking at it from their parents' point of view, when the bombshell is eventually dropped a fifth person in the room would probably be most unwelcome because they would feel like they are being ganged up on. I don't think their parents will be angry so much as extremely disappointed and the likelihood of your friend being kicked out at her age is most unlikely unless her parents are extremely hard-nosed and couldn't give a damn what she's done or what happens to her. Parents still love their kids no matter whether they are pregnant or not and hers will no doubt want to support their daughter in any way they can.
For your part, you can tell your friend (and her irresponsible boyfriend) that she needs to accept resposibility for what's happened and that your presence wouldn't help the situation one bit. What does she expect you to do or say to her parents? There's nothing you can do or say to ease the situation or make the bad news any easier for them to swallow. If you got to contribute to the situation at all I suspect you'd be siding with their parents anyway, because your thoughts on the matter are identical to what theirs will be!
What you can do is be there for her whenever she needs a shoulder to cry on, but her life is now going to take off in a completely different direction to yours. She'll be stuck at home with a baby while you're getting on with your life having a good time. If you're able to help her with anything in a practical manner, all well and good, but you can't be expected to curtail your life because of a stupid mistake that your friend has made.
In short, they need to stand on their own two feet and start preparing for parenthood. Their problem is not your problem.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2008): You're totally right -- if she didn't want to have a baby then why did she have sex... and she probably realises that now!! A bit late I know but she can't change it. I hear where you're coming from in that you're not part of the problem however it wouldn't hurt to be there for her support. If things get out of hand you can always go.
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female
reader, Hopeful Romantic +, writes (27 September 2008):
If you are REALLY her friend, you would be there any time she asked you to be (as long as it isn't for anything illegal.)
Having a baby at a young age is a lot harder than having one at an older age. Your friend is going to face a lot of challenges and obstacles you couldn't imagine; she needs a good friend to be there for her through thick and thin - to motivate her to continue to succeed in life & be a good mother - someone to encourage her to be strong, a girlfriend to be waiting in the waiting room to see her baby the for the first time.
Have you never had sex? If not, I am sure you will before you get out of high school because almost everybody does. (doesn't mean it's a good thing) and it also doesn't mean that she is a bad person or nasty all of a sudden.
You should apologize to her and try to start being there for her if you really care about her, if you don't care about her, then you're not a bad friend, you're just not her friend.
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female
reader, Arrow  +, writes (27 September 2008):
 Hi,
She's scared. She's not only found out she is pregnant, she is fearful that she is going to be abandoned. This is going to be a hard time for her. Juno - Be there for her. Don't be afraid of who will get angry/sad. If your being there helps her to feel stronger and more comfortable how can it be wrong. Your all so young. She needs to tell her parents and I do hope they are supportive. It's not a crime to fall pregnant and should not be looked at as the end of the world.
When she had sex she was not thinking of the aftermath of what it would be like if she fell pregnant. Use CONDOMS children!
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