A
female
age
41-50,
*rs.Robinson
writes:I have been with my boyfriend(feels weird calling hon that after 17 years) since the age if 17, I'm 34 now. We have 2 children together and everything seemed fine until last August when his mom died (well maybe not fine but we had a physical relationship up to that point). He went from being this man who loved sex to someone who goes out of way to avoid touching me, let alone have sex. He has even started sleeping in a separate room, we do nothing together, he refuses to so much as watch a movie with me and he acts like he doesnt even like me most of the time. Its been almost a year and I feel like crap and I'm starving for affection, or even someone to talk to, plus I feel like he thinks I'm the ugliest person alive but mostly I worry about the example we are setting for our kids. Sometimes he's just down eight nasty to me and it makes me so sad. I wonder if he's cheating because I don't understand how he could go from loving sex to NOTHING. I really don't know what to do, he is impossible to talk to and I feel trapped as I don't want my kids to have to go through us breaking up and I am almost completely reliant on him financially. Help?
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male
reader, young-man  +, writes (19 July 2012):
It sounds like he is deliberately sabotaging your relationship and treating you badly, hoping that you will break up with him. He lacks the courage to break up with you first.
The solution is communication. You both need to discuss how you feel. Start by you talking to him about what you've just told us now. He then needs to open up to you about explaining his behaviour. Such extreme behaviour on his part can not be accidental so it's not like he won't be expecting you to approach him on this.
I hope that together you find the issues behind what is driving his bad behaviour and can work out how to resolve them and rebuild your happy relationship. The issues may or may not include the death of his mother.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (18 July 2012):
 Things cannot go on like this any more, am surprised they have lasted this long. You need to talk to him, communicate and see what it is he wants. This does not sounds like a relationship to me, you are more like house mates who do not communicate. This is sad I get that, it must be hard for you. But you cannot keep this up any longer, yes I understand that you do not want your children seeing you both split up, but believe me that would be much better than them having both there parents under one roof and not getting on together. Also financial security is not another reason to stay with him. As you can get help if you become a single mother.
My suggestion is to sit down and talk to each other. There is a lot of trouble in this relationship that needs solved. So either you go and get professional therapy which is needed here for example couples therapy, and if he does not agree to go then the only thing to do is to finish things so you can both go on and live your lives happily.
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