A
female
age
41-50,
*oohoo1234
writes:i have a 4 year old son and his dad has just been trouble for the last 4 years. In and out of jail and abusive. Now he moved in with a couple and doesn't want to tell me where or give me the address so I can take our son to see his dad, and now I don't know what to do because he is saying that when our son is older and wants to see him, I wouldn't let him, and that isn't the case. I was just told by my lawyer that he needs to give a physical address. I feel torn by this situation becuase I still really care about him and want to have a friendly relationship, but I just dont think it is safe to not know where my son is staying at 4 years of age. I think it is time to maybe just say goodbye and forget about him because he isn't compromising or making any effort to make things civil. What should I do?
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female
reader, bronwyn +, writes (4 April 2009):
Jesus Christ, woman! Do you really need an answer to this question? If you love your son, keep him as far away from this loser as possible! Sit down and make a list of the qualities you would like to have in a father for your son. Then make a list of this idiot's qualities. Compare them. Look at the list you made for his father and say "is this the father I willingly choose for my baby?" I mean, c'mon. Ew. You are SO not doing your boy any favors by leaving him alone with an abusive criminal who has been nothing but trouble. You're right- it's not safe. And as his mother it's your job to keep him safe- and if you leave him there it's as much your fault as your exes if he gets hurt- EMOTIONALLY OR PHYSICALLY. Probably MORE your fault because you actually assessed the situation first, and I think you know deep down what's right. His "dad", you say. Ugh.
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