A
female
age
,
*heSoftballMom01
writes:Hello, if you are willing to offer advice, I would appreciate it. I'm doubting you've already read my "column," but I have two twelve-year old boys, and a three-year old daughter. I understand that the time for "crushes" and "wondering about sex" are close, but I am genuinely concerned about one of my sons. He is in sixth grade this year, and I expected him to crush on some young ladies in his grade. He changed my view completely after what I had seen take place. He's been increasingly insane over a rising sophomore girl in Highschool. She is a neighbor of ours, and it is right to say that she is beautiful in every way imaginable. I am not comfortable with this, as a matter of fact. While swimming in our backyard pool with some family friends and neighbors, (including the girl), I caught my son becoming "touchy-feely" with the girl underwater. It was a game of shark, as they called it, where at night, some "victims" float on the water and the "sharks" swim underneath and grab random prey. He had chosen her and was underwater. I noticed his arms lock around her, and his hand trace her leg. Concerned, I reached out to the school counselor, only to receive that it was part of growing up. What should I do? Am I overreacting?
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reader, C. Grant  +, writes (20 March 2011):
 This situation has some plusses and minuses. The fact that the girl is so much older likely means she won't let him go beyond what's appropriate -- she may have the experience/maturity to tell him to back off if the tries too much with her. Hopefully she'll do it in a compassionate way so that he doesn't get too crushed.
In general this is an awkward time to be parenting (I have a 12 year-old son as well). They're going to make their own mistakes. All you can do is ensure that he does nothing to hurt himself or others unnecessarily. There's a line between too strict and too permissive that we each have to find. Good luck!
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2011): Its okay to be concerned.But he is going through puberty. This is the sort of things that happens if a boy is normal and attractive to the ladies.I'd say just tell him that whatever happens, show the utmost respect to the girls he plays around with.Just make sure he never lets his feelings and desires rule him and turn him into a douchebag.Flynn 24
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