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anonymous
writes: My son is a drug addict, every time, he needs to get better moves back home, and destroys the peace and leaves a mess behind emotionally. But we have a very hard time to say no to him, as we love him but it weakens the marriage, it gets in a weak place even without this pressure, after 20 years. He is also disturbing his sister.... So every time he is back, we are close to separate, and our communication weakens. My husband loves him, but the stress is so high and the tension is overwhelming.How long will it go like this? Where do you draw the line? How many times can he can break my heart and destroy my balance? What am I supposed to do? When he stands at my door all skinny and broken? Should I stop helping him? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, pepper27  +, writes (23 October 2008):
 Oh hunny
This is so hard, Ive been there with my son he has never taken heroin it started when he was about 12/13 with Aerosol abuse 90 cans a week then other things..I went to a drug counselling group for parents, The most important thing I heard from them was YOU CANOT CONTROL ANOTHER PERSON! Even if it is your own child, You can be there but only they can stop and they have to want to..I told my son this as he was used to me always worried never sleeping always being there and watching his every move this went on for over 6yrs..I told him that I couldnt control what he did it was up to him if he wanted to ruin his life or kill himself, That Id done all I could and left it at that after a month or so he had stopped but only to turn to the bottle..As a family it is very hard living with this yes it affects the whole family my other son has been affected and my daughter, I had to tell him to leave last year as Id just had enough it was hard to do but there are others in the family as well that I care about...He got a flat drank more went to rehab then my parents let him home as I live in the same building as them. He has got better but sometimes I dont like coming home for fear of him being drunk. You do have to think of the other members of your family this is so important if it was me my son would have stayed in rehab for longer and stayed away from home as well, I felt he needed to learn for himself..Is there a chance hunny your son would go to rehab this is so important not only for him but for you as you cant carry on like this your whole family will be torn apart, Its such an evil addiction they really dont think or feel the same and are not the same person you know. I dont no were you live so this link may not be of any use to you hunny but i'll send it anyway...
http://www.addictionadvisor.co.uk/addiction-help/index.php?gac=A&gclid=CI7L4LLyvJYCFQ2Y1QodZSPmyg
http://www.projectknow.com/drug-addiction/counseling-for-parents-with-kids-on-drugs.html
There are two links there for help hunny you need to get help and advise and I do hope you can get your son into some kind of rehab WITH LOTS OF LOVE AND PRAYERS MANDY XXXXX
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