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anonymous
writes: My 19 year old son is dating a 38-year-old woman and I am concerned for him.My wife is worried about the age difference and our son; what do I do?The age gap is 19 years - and I'm worried for him.Thankfully he's not talking about marriage or anything like that, he's just dating her.In our family, there's never been any history of age gap relationships - my wife is the same age as me, and my son's brother who is 16 is dating a girl who is also 16.What problems might my son face as a result of his relationship with this woman??Johnathan from Ellesmere Port Reply to this Question
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reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (2 December 2005):
 You'll surely remember what it was like to be 19 years old; you know everything already and nobody has any answer better than the one you just thought up.
So, obviously there's nothing you can say to your son to dissuade him from dating his older woman. And since he's a legal adult, they're not doing anything wrong in seeing each other.
As far as problems they might encounter, the worst two that I can foresee are finding the age gap too large a hurdle to overcome - what on earth would they talk about - and enduring tasteless jokes about her robbing the cradle. Neither of these problems should be anything you need worry about.
I suggest that the current dating arrangement suits them both because your son probably finds his girlfriend less shallow than a lot of party-focussed young women his own age, and the girlfriend gets her ego stroked by her liasions with a toy-boy.
However, young men are notoriously fickle in their interests, and he'll probably tire of her in a matter of months. I can't imagine that this relationship will last very long, unless it's one in a million. And in that case, you'll doubtless see what a wonderful woman she is, just as your son does.
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female
reader, brandy +, writes (2 December 2005):
I am in the same situation but I am the one that is dating a man 15 years younger than me we have been dating for 5 years and now own a house I can say this we don;t belong together but it has nothing to do with our age I do not feel that age should have anything to do with who you date or fall in love with you need too look at the what you want for the future as well as if you are realy happy with this person and if you are both compadible (?) that is the most important part of a relationship that we tend to forget about we must remember that age soes not have anything to do with what our heart is telling us hearts do not know the age our minds do so keep that in mind when you meet her she may be everything you would want your son to be with even though she is older I hope that helpsBrandy
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2005): I have been in this situation with my son and gf..she was about 13 years older, so I understand your concern. In my case, their relationship lasted 7 months and their differences were just too huge for both of them to overcome. Dear, you can't do much-he's an adult and he can date whom he chooses. Keep loving him...keep supporting him and let him know...that if things don't work out, you and his Mother are there for him. Don't interfere or you will lose him...he will choose her (until the day-he comes to his senses and it will happen) Sorry I am not much help, but some times our adult children have to stumble through life on their own and all we can do as parents...is catch them when they fall. Best of luck and take care.
Hugs, Irish
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