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female
,
anonymous
writes: I've been going out with my boyfriend for just over a year, but I've been worrying about our relationship. I don't know how to get him to open up.. We've been making an effort to see each other more regularily but now he cancelled on me to go climbing with a girl who's just a 'good friend' of his. This is the same girl who I know he's been visiting when she's working, he said he's not interested cus she's 'too short' (not an excuse in my opinion) but I'm worried he's not being straight with me. Maybe he just wants sex until he has an opportunity with her? Should I try talking to him to try find out(and how should I approach it?) or should I just cut and run? I hate feeling so jealous and hurt.
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female
reader, iggyzap +, writes (2 December 2005):
all i can say is lies lies lies. that is a classic excuse "were just friends" but if they are just friends he wouldnt go to see her at work and spend time with her alone while canceling time with you. he would invite you to come along and if they are friends and you are in a relationship then you should know her too and be included. hes not being strait with you and you are being taken advantage of so kick his lying,cheating (or soon to be cheating) ass to the curb and find someone who respects you and doesnt insult your intelligence. your not blind so wise up and do what you gotta do
A
female
reader, ALEY KAT +, writes (1 December 2005):
THIS IS THE ONLY ADVICE I HAVE FOR YOU, DUMP THAT CHUMP
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2005): Hi, Ive been through exactly the same situation with my ex earlier this year.we were together for 7 months and during that time he became very close with a girl he insisted was just a good friend. i wasnt worried at first because she had a boyfriend anyway. But in the end he was spending more time with her then he was with me, so I finished it. 6 months later and they are a proper item. I am still very hurt because I loved him alot but I feel like he used me while he was getting closer to someone else who he was genuinely interested in. I now believe that if you are in a relationship with someone, its not right to spend so much time with another person of the opposite sex. I have always been told that a woman and a man cannot have a "just friends" relationship without having any sexual feelings for one another.I just do not believe that a man would put so much time and effort in with as girl if he just wanted to be friends with her. Theres more to it than that. You could try talking to him and ask him what exactly it is that he like about her, but dont ask straight out whether he fancies her or not. If he begins to spend more and more time with her then then you should think about calling it a day as it will be clear that he has no interest in spending time with you and improving your relationship, if hes always with this girl. If you do realise that he likes this girl then you must finish it with him straight away as dragging it on will only cause you more pain in the long run.And whatever you do, try not to confront the girl as this will make you look like the bad person in this whole situation. good luck.
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