A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My son has been a relationship for about 2 months. He lives out of town and up until he started this relationship he called or texted me almost everyday, and came home to visit at least every 2 weeks. Now, I hardly hear from him, and when I do, I am usually the one to make contact first. He has been home only once since he has been with his partner and seems to have no desire to come at all anymore. He has also cut most contact with his friends. This whole situation has left me feeling a bit sad. I know he has to live his own life, but just cutting everyone off like this seems so harsh! My husband says to let him be, that he will come around. I want to ask my son why he is doing this. Would it be appropriate to do this, or should I leave him be and hope he starts to include us in his life again one day?
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male
reader, Wild Thaing +, writes (2 November 2013):
 If you can bring yourself to back off then you are showing your son respect as an adult. Healthy relationships have boundaries. It took me years and the support of a patient wife to learn to set boundaries with my relatives. None of them disowned me and we all share wonderful and respectful relationships.
As others have said, let your boy be. If you raised him to be respectful he will honour you in time. All you need to do now is to be patient. Good luck and take care.
A
female
reader, Keeley345  +, writes (2 November 2013):
He may be so focused on his relationship that his friends and family are being pushed aside. Maybe not even intentionally. As long as you've not had a disagreement it's safe to say it's not because of you he's not making contact if at all. Next time you see him, casually say ''i'm glad your relationship is going well but it'd be nice to see or hear from you occasionally. I miss you''. Don't make him feel guilty or accuse him of not making the effort to stay in touch with his friends and family. Send him gifts, cards, emails etc just to show he's still loved and missed. Invite him and his partner to dinner and suggest to his friends they do the same. Above all don't overwhelm him and remember he's an adult and is living his life the way he wants to. Yes, he should still maintain contact with family and friends but when you're loved up, you do forget to maintain your other relationships.
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A
male
reader, Mokoj  +, writes (17 October 2013):
speek to him about this as soon as you meet
dont be anagging though,
jus tmake him feel the pain he caused you,
beause i believe he is a good son and your words would touch him
finally try to make friends with his GF this well help allot in the future
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (17 October 2013):
 Let him be. What he does is normal, he is caught up in a fresh, exciting new romance, and all the rest gets pushed a bit on the back burner, including mom. Nothing to panic about,your husband is right, he'll come around when he'll be either tired of the new toy, or, au contraire, more settled in a steady , secure relationship with her. In the meantime, let him breathe and don't lay guilt trips on him- and this, said by an Italian mom, which is assumedly the cliengiest varoety of moms :)!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2013): Although i understand what you must feel like, you must
Cut the apron strings and let him get to know his new partner. No doubt he will be texting her everyday and spending time with her instead of Mum (this is the natural order)or should be. He has Not really cut you off he is just enjoying new discoveries as a young man, phoning mum every day will not be the top of his agenda anymore. I would take notice of your husband and let him be,putting pressure on him or making him feel guilty is unfair and can stop him from 'growing'. He'll be back and probably with a new girlfriend....let the eagles fly, you will always be his mum and never have to remind him of this fact. Don't turn into a smoothering mum who won't let go of their children.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2013): He has had his mommy nearly all his life. He is now an adult and he has his own life. Your husband is correct. He'll see you on weekends and holidays to come. Just give him his space.
Your talking to him will only be your way of scolding him in a passive-aggressive way. Try getting used to him not being around. Stalk him on Facebook, if you have to. Just allow him to be a man.
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