A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:so I have pretty bad social anxiety to the point where I only had one friend and as much as I tried to make other friends (and I continue to try) it justs exhausts me and people just ignore me.anyway so I've known my friend has liked me pretty much since we've met so I decided to give it a go and date him however after two months I realised that I had no actual romantic feelings for him I just loved him as a friend and was relying on that and so we broke up last week.This wouldn't be too bad if I had any other friends but I don't and he knows this so the day after we broke up he proposed that even though he hated me at the time he still wanted us to be friends as he still loved me and didn't want me to be lonely and sad (I have really bad mood swings and often I get quite depressed for me real reason) and obviously I agreed because I didn't want to lose him.the thing is we've gone straight back to being very close friends and he's still acting like we're going out which is very confusing for me and I'm not sure what to do. I don't want to cut off all contact with him because I don't want to be alone but I also don't want to carry on and think there's a future for us.
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female
reader, Ivyblue  +, writes (27 April 2016):
 Hi Op. Have you looked into attending a social anxiety support group? Cant think of a better way to make friends with people who 'get' exactly what it is that you are going through and understand, without prejudice, the difficulty of forming and maintaining friendships. As for this boy, you really do have to set him straight, set some boundaries and give him a choice whether or not he is able to abide by them, otherwise it will eventually snowball and you may be left friendless after all. Be fair to him and hopefully he will be fair in return by keeping things platonic.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (26 April 2016):
 Okay sweetie I am going to be honest with you, carrying on as if you are in a relationship together is not fair. He loves you and wants to be with you, and I know that you don't want to be alone, but you are going to hurt him a lot if you keep up this behavior. Fear of being alone is not a good enough reason to stay close with this friend, as he wants more than friendship and he needs to accept that you don't. You need to give him space to get over you.
Now back to your anxiety, are you getting any help with it at the moment? Your best bet is to see your doctor who can prescribe some tablets to you, then get some CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) to help deal with your anxiety. The only person that can help you through your issues is yourself, you need to get some help and not rely so much on your friend.
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