A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I recently posted about a situation where 5 years ago i got drunk and naked and everyone took photos of me and passed it round my home town and they still haunt me today-everyone that i meet gets shown them and while i didn't want it to (i really wanted to just see the funny side) it bothered me every day and caused stupid anxiety in me so often. Tonight i went to my 'friend' that i have asked nicely to stop showing them and practically begged him to delete them and i told him how much it genuinely bothered me. He said he had loads of phones and computers with copies of them on and he said he would delete them - i don't think he will but anyway. I then spoke to my other friend later to ask if he had a copy and if he could delete it and he said how stupid and paranoid i was and that i was over reacting and shouldn't dwell on it. He said that i've probably made things worse now because they now know just how much it bothers me and i would have been better off laughing it off. Do you think this is true? was it silly of me asking someone to stop shoving a stupid mistake i made all that time ago in my face. Especially now that i have met this girl that i care about a lot and am scarred she will run a mile if she saw the photo and what i used to be like (i used to drink far too much-it just was the place i was at at the time) I'm fed up of being the joke guy as it's not who i actually am. I can't help it but i am a very paranoid person that dwells on everything to the point of feeling very depressed and i've been kidding myself that i could handle it without saying anything all this time. I have a lot going on in my life and want to just be the guy in the corner and not the centre piece. It was the right thing to do wasn't it?Have i made things worse?thanks for your time!(FOLLOW-UP)I took on board everyone's advice and thought i felt better about it. But then within a day i felt terrible again. it is on my mind all the time and i just want to cry. I went away with the family for a couple of days and i didn't want to talk or socialise and i don't know how i can cope. Surely i must be depressed- would a situation like this practically destroy a normal persons life or does it imply i have a deeper problem? would help completely rid me of this feeling of depression and shame? I can't take it any more!I keep telling myself how ridiculous it is to care so much but i just can't stop. I really need help. what can i do? i just want to be happy and have an easy carefree mind and life. Will i ever get over this?
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depressed, drunk, the internet, want to be happy Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2009): This is why I choose my friends more wisely.These are not friends. They are drinking buddies. Not one of them will be there if and when shit gets real in your life.They like getting drunk and anyone whose body takes control away from them and forces them to sleep so it can repair the damage it has recieved... gets this treatment.It is immature and should never be tolerated if you do not like it. If a person sees it as a sense of humour and doesn't take it personally, then fine. Plenty of people do.I don't. Friends stick around and help each other. Not embarrass each other with malicious intent.Flynn 24
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2009): I agree with the female anon, contact the police and file a harassment suit against them. This should stop them from doing this.I am sorry you find yourself in this horrible situation, and I don't think you are over reacting, I would feel the same way. Filing a suit against them will put power back into your hands, much of your anxiety stems from not having any power over the situation. Once you regain control, you will feel better and the nightmare of not knowing when the picture will pop up or 'will it ever stop' will be over. Hang in there, it's almost over.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2009): They are not your friends. Get that idea out of your head. They are mocking you and using you. Seek legal advice, or report it to the cops. It is illegal to post pictures of people online, or show it around in public, without the persons consent. As well as this is personal harassment on the highest level. You made a mistake, but they are breaking the law and making a sure mistake too.
Contact a lawyer. Take this seriously. If you have to, move to another place. Do not speak to these "friends" again, they are no good for you.
Of course you care about this, everyone would. There's a reason why it is illegal to do this. You did not ask for them to take your picture, not did you agree that this should be shown in public. This has been going on for years, the joke is over and old, and it's no longer fun. It's criminal. Im not one who thinks highly of lawsuits, but in this case I would recommend you go to court, at least advice from a lawyer to hear if you have a case. If private lawsuits aren't a way you want to go, call the police and hear what they have to say.
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