| A
female
,
anonymous
writes: I need help in deciding what I need do about my friend. My friend, 25 years old, I'll call her SAMMIE, is a very manipulative girl. I don't mean to sound judgmental. Infact, I don't want anything about her to bother me... but it does. And I don't know how to deal with this. I'm hoping someone could suggest what I could do. I've known my best buddy RALPH for 5 years now. A couple of years ago RALPH introduced me to SAMMIE whom he was seeing. Soon, SAMMIE and I became friends. SAMMIE would cry to me everyday about how RALPH would ill-treat her. She got me to hate my own friend and created difficulties b/w RALPH and me. She started cheating on RALPH with another guy GARY. She used me by making me lie to RALPH about her whereabouts while she was busy making out with GARY. She was two timing them for 6 months before RALPH found out and finally broke up with her and she moved in with GARY. Now, GARY is away for a few months. GARY and I are good friends too. Now, she is playing GARY. She is seeing RALPH while GARY is away and makes me lie to GARY to save her skin. I hate her. She is using me and playing both the guys. RALPH and I are no longer friends thanks to her. She created misunderstanding b/w another acquaintance and me and turned us against each other. She is a despicable person. Should I tell GARY about what she has been upto behind his back?? Or should I not bother at all?? Am I in the wrong? Should I play accomplice to her lies because I'm her firend???? I must admit her behavior irks me and I hate her guts!!! Please advice.
View related questions:
broke up, moved in Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2006): Darling,
Yes. I agree with whoevers below me. You played a large part in this deceit, and both men have been cheated on and are cheaters. They deserve her, let them carry on- dont bother spilling- it wont make give you an self-rigteousness I assure you, nor will it make anybody grateful towards your intevention.
I have a friend similar to yours. I dont fully trust her, but she makes me laugh, we share interests and if I forget the more nasty facts about her when Im with her I have a great time. Cos im getting enjoyment out of this friend, I generally like who she is I stay her friend. But I keep my real perspective of who she is- cos I do that, I can be careful- To have fun with her, but to keep out of her bad business.
You can still be her mate, but dont cover for her or do anything immoral for her. Make your own views clear-and if she asks you what you think she should do- tell her straight, but still be the nice friend.
A
female
reader, Toria +, writes (4 October 2006):
 First thing you need to do is stop lying for her and stop being her reason for her whereabouts when she is out cheating.
Secondly these guys have seen what she is like the first one found out she cheated and left her only to then become the bit on the side and the other one was the bit on the side when she was with the first one and stupidly become the boyfriend for her to do the same too so from this they both know what she is like and what they are getting themselves involved in therefore more fool them and brought it on themselves.
If you really hate this girl break free from this friendship that you once cared for and she just used and abused.
Hope this helps :o)
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2006): Hi Camille... thank you for your response... to answer your questions - No, I never had any feelings for Ralph. *Never-ever*. He is not my kind of guy AT ALL. I totally adore him as a friend, though.
If I was jealous of this girl??... well, I'm not sure, really. Her and I are two totally different type of women. We are two very different leagues, if you know what I mean... so, I can't really say I was jealous of her. come to think of it, there is nothing about her that makes me insecure.
About it being unfair for her to have two men... I guess there is some truth to it. Because she is a very nasty person. And she is very scheming, manipulative and such a conniving shrew!
I guess I hate her so much because I chose to loose Ralph to be with her. She made it sound like Ralph would abuse her emotionally, physically, verbally... and I hated him for that. And she tried her best to create a rift b/w the two of us. Now that it's all over, I'm ok without Ralph... I don't even miss him.
I don't know why I'm still friends with her. I guess we have similar interests and have a good time when we talk... I can't think of anything else.
...............................
A
female
reader, camille  +, writes (3 October 2006):
 I'm afraid to say that you are also in the wrong and telling either men won't do you any favours as you have a part to play in this deceit.
Just do what you should have done in the first place; tell your 'friend' you will not lie for her.
If she's so despicable and you hate her guts, why are you even friends with her?
I can't help sensing some underlying stuff here. I shall just throw these out there.... were you jealous of this girl? Or of the fact she hooked up with your friend? Did you have feelings for Ralph? Do you feel that you don't have a man and she has 2 and think that's unfair? They're just some ideas floating round my head beacuse the way you talk about her, I am confused as to why you've wasted time and energy on her.
...............................
|
