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female
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anonymous
writes: hi i am lou age 26 and my little sister age 13 is very out going and she is settled with her boyfriend as she says. the other day i was looking after her while her mum was out and i went in her room to ask her what she wanted for her tea and she was sat on her bed with a pregnancy test that was blue. i saw it but as i entered her room she hid it. i acted like i hadnt seen it but now i dont know what to do. should i tell my mum, should i talk to her, should i tell her that i am there for her, what shall i do? does any one have any advice thnx lou x
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female
reader, Terrapin +, writes (10 June 2006):
 hi hun, i was 16 when i got pregnant, and I know younger women with babies. Accidents happen. Please dont forget that no matter how young she is, with support she could make a brilliant mother, and please dont try to talk her into an abortion or 'have a go' at her, because it wont help matters, I dont know where you live, or what country you are in but there are probably some kind of support groups avaliable to her, and she will need to think about her education. Just make it clear you will support her and maybe go with her to the doctors?
good luck
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2006): I have an younger sister living with me full time so know the responsabiltys that are put on you as a big sister as DrPsych said make sure whether you know she is pregnant or not as most pregnancy tests show a blue line showing that you have done the test right. Think about what you would have wanted someone to say to you if you were in this situation and please at least adivise an abortion i have babys myself and its extremely hard work for me at 20 let alone 13 if you think it would help get someone you know who has a baby and offer to babysit for a night ask your sister over and then she can see for herself how much hard work it is please keep us posted. And whatever she decides be supportive best wishes
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A
female
reader, xxxsoulsistaxxx  +, writes (4 June 2006):
 I think you need to talk to your sister first. Maybe there's a reason she hasn't told your mum yet or maybe she's still thinking about what to say to her. Either way, a 13 year old needs help in a situation like this and big sisters are perfect to give them that support.
If you confront her, be open, supportive and loving and make sure she knows you can trust her. I can understand you being torn between your loyalty to your sister and to your mum but if you're not going to keep the secret from your mum tell your sister this. Breaching her trust is always a bad idea, she will never confide in you if you do this.
I think, after you've spoken to her, you could be with her when she tells your mum. I think both of them will need a lot of support coming to terms with this and your sister has a big decision to make and will need all your help.
Good luck
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2006): hi its lou i have just come back on to see if any one ha answered my questions and i have rea through them, there is some good ideas and i am going to leave it a few days to talk to her because she is staying at mine on tuesday. i know for deffenite that she wont get an abortion ecause she has always said she doesnt want to have kids till she is 25 but if she gets pregnant she will keep it. thanx everyone i will be happy to read any one elses answers thanx
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female
reader, chachacha +, writes (4 June 2006):
You are 26 and your little sister is only 13, a child. Take her aside and say "what was that you hid when I went into your room". If she doesn't answer say "was it a pregnancy test, because that's what it looked like". Her face should give away whether it was or not - then say, "why have you got a pregnancy test - do you want to talk about it?". And then listen to her.
If it turns out that she has had sex and is worried about being pregnant, then support her. If she is pregnant, unless your family has strong religious morals which prevent this, encourage her to talk to your mother as soon as possible about going for an abortion.
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A
female
reader, Smiler +, writes (4 June 2006):
 Hey there
Well i agree with my friend dr psych to be honest you have thought you saw the result but inadvertidly saw something else instead, but either way 13 is really young to be pregnant and responsible for a whole nother person inside you know so, honet if i were you i would sit down with your little sis, explain to her your not angry explain to her what you thought you saw and that your concerned but more than that your there for her to talk to a shoulder to lean on etc... cause she will need someone older and wiser to advise her and help her though this especially if she is pregnant, but don't push her to open up or talk explain she can talk to you whenever she feels ready ok its probably a really frightening time right now for her remember being 13? if the test is neg and you actually saw the wrong thing give her some sisterly advise on safe sex and contraception (which i know you probably would anyhow) but your sister needs to at this troubled time of her life be strong and a shoulder to lean/cry on after all thats what big sisters are for...
Good Luck, I hope my advice was able to help you and your little sis let me know how you get on would love to hear from you again weather it be just a chat or more advise i'm always here for you ok....
You Take Care Sweetie X
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A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (4 June 2006):
 Pregnancy tests work in different ways according to the various brands, but most of the tests I have seen have two windows - one shows a blue or pink line to prove that you have done the test correctly, and the second window is the one that is interpreted for pregnancy (usually a clear line after a minute or few minutes of doing the test). So, you may not have seen the result in your sisters bedroom that you think you have seen. Either way, 13 is way too young to be 'settled' or pregnant. Just remember how you felt at 13 - everything is serious and dramatic at that age - but then you mature. If she is using pregnancy tests, she is sexually active and perhaps not using reliable contraception. Don't tell your mother about this just yet, but you have to find out what is going on with your sister - its kind of an older sibling obligation. Take her out for a cup of tea at a cafe, away from the possibility of conversations being overhead, and have a frank conversation with her about her love life. If she is pregnant, then she will need tons of support to deal with the decision to keep the baby or not, and of course she needs to be booked in for antenatal care and seeing her doctor for tests. If she is not pregnant, then you should talk through the contraception options with her and perhaps make sure she goes to a family planning clinic - you won't be able to stop her having sex through a lecture, but you can take her to see a doctor or nurse for some reliable advice. Lets face it, lots of teenagers have strange ideas about contraception/ the possibility of pregnancy (take a look on this board for example!). She is more likely to accept advice from you as a comparatively young woman than advice from her mother.
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