A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:hi, my sisters boyfriends are not nice to say the least. Basicly, my older sister, she is married has two children and married to this guy who basicly treats her terribly, she may as well be a single mom as she is the only one who takes care of the 3 children and does everything in the house, plus trying to manage rubbish disposal. He gives alot of money to his parents and leaves his immediate family short. He gets his kicks in when he can, previously i broke up with my husband (we are back together now) and he made snide remarks about how he is not surprise my husband left me, to stop being unhappy as i will annoy other people who have to look at me. He now wants to do some travelling (the mind boggles) he has a family and they have just finished building a house (my parent gave them a site, so he has it all handed to him). My younger sister, her boyfriend is all for himself and is a real smartass to say the least, he puts down everything and thinks hes gods gift, keep saying he was born a winner. He is influencing my sister, i dont know her anylonger, my mother says the same and she has no time for him, whenever she spends time with him it takes her a few days to go back to her normal self. She and i were very close and there was not a day we would have been in contact but now, i never hear from her and all i get now from both is smart remarks, whenever i say something, its knocked down just to make me feel stupid. I sometimes think i have a sign on my forehead that says, pick on me!!. What do you think, is it me, am i the problem or is it just the men they picked??? thanks
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female
reader, Midge +, writes (15 April 2008):
 This sounds like my family! I have two older sisters. My oldest sister is married to a complete *****. He beats her up and she does EVERYTHING in the house while he sits and expects everything to be done. I have always wondered why she ever married him. I never liked him in the begginning and I dont like the **** now! She really did pick a complete pratt! But that was her choice!
My middle sister is the real madam of the family. Nothing is good enough for her. She doesnt want to live in a house, she wants a mansion. She doesnt want a little Renault Clio, she wants a BMW Z4 with the works. Her husband deserves a medal. I didnt like him to start with because he used to beat her when they first married, but she left him and went back a while later and he has never done it since.
My oldest sisters husband doesnt like my boyfriend because my boyfriend has made a good business for himself, got plenty money and is just a nice guy. He takes abuse very seriously which is why I know I am totally safe with him. I dont see him very much because of work, but I know he is making a life for us, so have to be patient. But my sisters see him as being the "abscent boyfriend" and think because I dont see him very much, the relationship cant be that great. Far from the truth! Absence does make the heart grow fonder.
My point is that each of us will find fault with each others partners no matter what. At the end of the day, they make the decisions as to who they are with, we dont. I am pretty sure that given half a chance my sisters would change my boyfriend to someone that suited them, and granted, the first one I would be changing is my eldest sisters husband who is a wife beater and just a general bully!
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (15 April 2008):
They are going out with idiots, it's not you.
You can talk to them, ask them why they put up with it, you can tell them they can do better. Tell them you were upset by remarks their husbands made during your marriage troubles. But they may just yell at you and tell you to leave them to it.
Tell them you are there if they ever change their minds, then stop putting in all this effort to make them be nice.
You have your Mum, your husband, your friends.
As long as you are always there for them, why not just take a step back.
When someone says "I'm a born winner" ask them (really innocently) how? Are they getting promoted at work? Then just nod as he tries to justify himself.
Good Luck!! xx
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