A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:ok, i have a very big problem, im not going to lie, im a overweight, but my girl friend did not really care, she liked me for who i am(yay!!)we were going out for 6 weeks and we hadn't had sex yet because i have a 4.5 in penis, i would pleasure her by going down, stroking her hair, playing with her boobs, im 19 so believe me, im happy i found someone right nowbut then for our 7 week anniversary, on that friday, we decided we would finally have sex, she wasn't a virgin, but i am, shes had sex 4 times before, i did not really care, anyway...so i forplay a little bit, ya know... blah blah blah... and im already hard, so when she goes to take off my pants to give me head(heh), she saw it was only 4.5 and she laughed, i could not believe it, she actually said to me, "no wonder we waited so long, your not even big enough to have sex", and i said how we both said we loved eachother, but she just laughed and told me, i do, but thers no way i can live with that size, and she leftnow i have no confidence, and i cant even get it up, its been 2 months, my 2 questions are how can someone be this cruel? and what the hell is going on, why cant i get it up???? plz for the love of god, help me, i dont want to be a virgin for ever
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male
reader, Red Boy +, writes (31 May 2010):
Well that girl was cruel because we're all born with what we're born with. I bet she wouldn't like it if you said her boobs were too small or her vagina wasn't tight at all. With people these days, they act like babies. Penis size shouldn't matter in a relationship because you fall for the guy not his penis so it shouldn't matter. There are no ifs or buts. You just need to find yourself a girl who truly just wants to be with you not your penis. That girl you were with is obviously a slut because I think the vagina only goes like 4 inches deep or something so she's an idiot.
A
male
reader, NOmoreBS +, writes (30 May 2009):
O.k. fellah, here's the scoop. All these posts are pretty close. Thing is, men and women fight for power in society, in relationships, in the bed, and everywhere the fight can be had. It's not a conscious choice, rather it's something we all do without realizing it. For centuries men have talked about breasts, bragged about them, and made them damned near our national icon for female sexuality. Around the middle of the 20th century, with the women's lib movement, females began to finally see that they could make men feel the way they had for years. A small number of scandalous hoes and the greedy porn and television empires slowly capitalized on men's fears and insecurities. One day movies started mentioning penis size. Watch all the movies you can before 1965. Tell me if you ever hear it mentioned. Next thing we know, there's Sex in the City and a constant stream of movies with women talking about men and their big or small dicks.Now, we have this great culture built around each other's insecurities. On one hand, men still disrespecting women as much as ever, and on the other, women doing the same in alarming ways. I know this is a long way to answer a simple question, but it's important to understand where this crap comes from. The woman you were dating was not a woman. She probably never will be. She's an impressionable kid who has heard, seen, and maybe read things over the course of her tiny life that have shaped her view of what she "should" like or "could" deal with. Sadly, she really has no idea, because she isn't even brave enough to try a real relationship with someone she claims to care about. How the hell can she expect to find out what she likes or doesn't? She will be very unhappy if she's dating guys for their penises, because they'll give em to her...and that's all she'll be getting for the rest of her miserable little life.Now, the good part. Here's what you do...You're overweight right? Step 1: Lose some weight. Get outside and ride a bike, run, take up a fun sport with a friend (note a guy friend), tennis, anything. Watch your calories, eat healthy, educate yourself about your body, nutrition and how these effect your sex life. Typically, a man of average weight has about 1/2 to 1 inch of penis being hidden by the fatty tissue of his pubic area. Imagine how much an overweight guy has. Next, losing weight WILL make it look bigger. I know this for a fact. When I was 19, I had a girl not much different from yours. They're all over the place, but then again, so are trash cans and you wouldn't stick your dick in one of them would ya? Anyhow, I was 30-40 pounds overweight when I joined the Army. I didn't date for almost 2 years, but I dropped down from 245 to 180. The next girl I dated actually thought I was big! I'm not, but a skinny guy with the same package LOOKS bigger. Oh, and for the record, size only "physically" matters for about 5% of women on the planet due to extra large vaginas or biologically different cervical alignment. The rest of the women who say it matters are referring to the "appearance" of a large penis. Just like boobs, it is a image-arousal stimuli. Seeing it creates a lymphatic response to release endorphins and other hormones the same as would happen through foreplay. Basically, it turns them on. This is an evolutionary response. Just like female mammals in the wild are attracted to males who exhibit signs of masculinity, dominance, and sexual potency, these girls' minds are inadvertently telling them to breed with the one most likely to procreate!Your 4.5 will prob be a 5.5 - 6 at least if you lose weight. Plus, it will look bigger against a smaller frame. Then, take that new confidence, new body, and more energy and volunteer in your community, focus on your career, think about all the ways you can better yourself. Take up hobbies, learn to dance, learn to play an instrument. Take up a foreign language. Get a college education. An average build guy, with an average size dick, with a college education, a great attitude, who's healthy and stable and has a ton of interesting hobbies and talents will get the girl almost every time over a guy who just has a big wang. In summary, make yourself into the best YOU that YOU can be. Don't focus on whether a girl likes YOU, focus one whether YOU like the girl. Spend time getting to know yourself, see the world. You're 19! If you love yourself and have a love for the world around you, women will want you like chocolate, and the guy with the big dick...he'll still get laid, but it won't be by any woman you have, because your standards will be higher than his by that point, as will the class of woman you can snag. Besides, would you rather date some trashy teenage twit or take 5-8 years to improve yourself and find yourself and end up dating a beautiful professional and intelligent woman? It really does all start on the inside. Good luck brother. Chin up, and go make life happen!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2009): dude... if that girl laughe at you and left you because ur penis was 4.5 inches??? than forget her, its not worht beying with her you could do better....you could be with someone you love and will love you for who you are so you have nothing to worry about..dont sweat it bro
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2008): 50% of guys will have penises that are average or smaller. So you're in the same boat as half the guys you see walking around.
It was horrible and stupid of that girl to say such a thing to you. Probably the best thing for your confidence is to date either virgins, or very experienced women (who will know that truly it's not size that matters.) Actually large guys are much less pleasant for sex, because many positions hurt.
Good luck and feel better about yourself!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2008): There are some girls who care about size and get more pleasure from bigger dicks unfortunately. It's heartbreaking for the small guy to know it, but I would be bullshiting you if I said there weren't any girls like this out there.
But those girls are at least tied (if not outnumbered) by the girls that don't care about dick size very much or don't care at all.
Read about the biology of the vagina & other things down there. It's really not as simple as you might think it is, and stimulating the right things isn't as simple as having more surface area on your penis to get her with. It's not just like you're stimulating her more the harder & more powerfully you "slam" her vagina with it. What helps most women have orgasms is nothing like that jackhammering sort of intercourse they always do in pornos.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2008): That is straight up pathetic. Your girlfriend isen't much of one if she walked out on you because of having a un-usual penis. This might sound really wierd, but im only 13 saying this. But no girlfriend has the right to do that. NO sexual or normal relationship matters on penis length or looks.
You don't need to worry, going out for 6weeks. I admit, you sorta need to give it time. But she's not somebody that loved you. Find somebody that you cant trust & know you can tell anything to.
This is just proving that you need to give it time.. READ below.
Yes, im only 13. But me & my girlfriend in real life have been dating 9 months. Thats quite along time for a 13yo right? Okay well.. farthest i've done with her is kissing. I've attempted to go farther, but she refused. But i've let her do stuff to me. I was quite confused when she wouldn't let me reach in. But see, Male hormones tend to be more tempting to do stuff, which I might of temped her the wrong way. Which is quite possible of what you did to. But Male hormones can make the Male's more temped & my understanding's is that Male's will get "turned on" more easyer & faster. When Female's are turned on, usually they feel a tingle in the vaginal & rectnum area. (Sorry for my spelling)You have to accept that people might be differnt. Like you, now see.. 6weeks is not a lot. BUT, find somebody who respects you & you can tell everything. & by the way, if im not mistaken your penis will grow still. I've heard that your penis stop's growing at 25-30. But I doubt that. Just stay in there, it is quite possible it will grow. But penis dosen't matter in a real relationship.
Take it slower. & get back out there. =) Make sure the person you love. Loves you for who you are, not your length.
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A
male
reader, sissybabysusie  +, writes (9 July 2008):
 I have lived with a penis that is only 3 inches erect and believe I know anxious it can be when you start a new relationship.A loving partner will love you for who you are and not your penis size.why not thrill her in other ways like extra forplay,touching kissing and using your tongue.Most women achieve orgasm through stimulation of the clitoris rather than penetration.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2008): this girl is going to hell in a mason jar. mean girls in this regard chalk up a slew of bad karma; they eventually have to deal with it..
the cruelty of teenage girls never ceases to amaze me...
chalk it up to immaturity, and move on. easier said than done, i know. but every man who interacts with the opposite sex in high school , with a few exceptions, has some humiliating experience that haunts them for life...
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A
female
reader, Isabella1974  +, writes (15 April 2008):
 I am really sorry to hear that darling, what a very nasty girl she is. Dont listen to anything your ex has to say. You will meet a girl one day who will appreciate you for who you are, anyhow size is not everything, just because someones penis is very big does not necessarily mean they are good lovers. You will have no trouble pleasing any girl, just make sure she is someone you trust and is more open minded that you ex sweetheart.
God bless you and keep the chin up. Heres a "hug". xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2008): Honey that's just awful to hear. She shouldn't have been that cruel to you at all, that's just plain mean of her. As much as revenge doesn't solve anything, you should have called her flat chested. I'm sorry, but that would have satisfied me quite a lot if I were in your place! Now. Back to the advice. You're probably having trouble getting an erection because your confidence has been destroyed so much. You've got to forget about this nasty and heartless comment. Personally, I don't care about penis size and I know about a million other women that don't. You just managed to pick a girl that did. But she's clearly not even mature enough to be having sex yet, if she believes it's not good enough for sex. Let me tell you this, IT IS! So forget what she said - you've got the power in you to please a woman, you've just gotta let it out honey!
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A
male
reader, 09876  +, writes (15 April 2008):
 Dude, some people are just scum of the earth, and someone who would abuse someone's trust/feelings/etc like that isn't worth the dirt under your feet. I may sound hash but its true mate. This girl obviously has no idea about life, love and how the world goes round, and it will catch up with her one day and it wont be pleasant for her.
Don't worry for a second about the physical features, because to a decent girl, they don't matter. Take me for example, I'm 20 and got my face torn to pieces by shrapnel on overseas deployment with the Army 6 months ago. I'm scared big time and It's not real pretty, but 2 months ago, a beautiful 23 year old fell in love with me.
You can and will do better brother, just keep your head up. Annalisa put it nicely in her last few lines
be cool
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