A
female
age
30-35,
*eartbroken-xx
writes:My sister is eighteen, and I am fifteen.When I got into my teenage years, my sister kind of took on the role of being my mother. Nobody asked her do so, as I do have a mother who is ALIVE and who I live with.My sister constantly lectures me about, school and sex, and my boyfriend. See, my family doesn't approve of my boyfriend, as we have had a pretty rough relationship but are trying to get through it. My sister just doesn't understand that I've been with him for a long time and I can't just drop it like that. When I tell her things out of trust, she runs and tells my mother, as I told her a secret about me and my boyfriend, and she went and told my mom.She never covers for me, she never listens. She bickers and bickers and bickers and picks, until I basically explode and then she sits there all dumbfounded and acts all innocent like she didn't do anything to prokoke it.Basically I just want her to chill out, but she won't, and I'm fed up with it all. I'm at the point where all I want to do is go see my boyfriend, and I don't even wanna be at home anymore.My mom is threatening to move me away, and she says that if I loose my job that will be the end of my relationship with him.Anytime I do something wrong, they throw my boyfriend in my face, and use it to there advantage. As some parents would say, "If you do this, then you can't go out" Well my mom's like, "If you do this, your not allowed to see your boyfriend"It's all so wrong. It's my life, and my choices.There is a fine line between caring and controlling, and I think they have crossed it.How do I stop this all? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2009): Maybe you need to confront her about why she feels the need to go running to your parents telling tales. Whether the tales are true or not is irrelevant. Siblings aren't supposed to betray each other. You should stop confiding in her about anything you don't want broadcasted to your parents, as she obviously sees it as a way of point scoring with them. Perhaps part of the reason you've taken up with a boyfriend they don't like is because you're rebelling against being treated so disrespectfully by your goody-two-shoes sister.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2009): You want to run your own life. Everyone at 15 is quite sure they can, and want to.
You don't want to hear this, but you're not ready yet. You don't have enough life experience to make the best decisions for yourself. You're having conflict with your family because the adults, who do have some life experience, and who *are* responsible for you, think you're making mistakes.
Ya, you think they're just out to make you miserable. Ya, they don't want you to have fun, to just spread for your b/f.
Well, I hope they have the strength to keep it up, because it doesn't sound like you're mature enough to be making important life decisions. You're not making it easy for them. But if they have the guts to put up with your bs, you'll thank them for it one day.
Suck it up, buttercup.
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