A
female
 ,
*isztoria
writes:Hello all, I have a question and I hope I can find someone who's in a similar situation. My sister is a bindge-eating bulemic. She eats everything in the house besides the cat then throws it all up. Recently I went into her room and found more than 15 2 liter bottles of vomit. My mother sent her to rehab when she was 16, she cheated her way through it and then returned home and did the same thing she did before she went to rehab. It's a very disgusting and annoying disorder. She's even eaten my son's baby food and tried to hide it, which she isn't very good at. She's 18 now and off to college in about two weeks. My mother is in denial and won't say anything to her and just let's her go off and buy food and of course throw it all back up. She doesn't have a job si she's wasting my mother's money and mine when she eats up all the food in the house. Does anyone know how we can get her to get help? Can we commit her against her will? She's killing herself slowly but surely and I'm not going to stand by and watch her do it. I want to tell my father's who is terminal ill and in the last months of his life, but of course that will devastate him and he's to weak to hear it. He's wasting money on her meal plan for school and he gave her a car which she goes out only to buy food. This needs to stop and I need help on what to do because no one else seems to give a damn. Sorry this is long, but I've been angry over this for the past three years because everyone just let's her get away with it. Thanks guys.
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female
reader, DrPsych  +, writes (15 August 2009):
 Bulmia nervosa is a horrible, horrible disorder (been there, got the t-shirt)...I appreciate you are angry but you have to understand one rule about eating disorders - no one will be cured until they want to be cured. Forcing treatment does not work but the patient must be motivated and willing to deal with the issues underpinning the disorder. One of the issues is deep self-loathing and severe depression, tangled up with self-perfection - antidepressants do sometimes work with bulmia, along with cognitive behavioural therapy. To help, you must deal with your anger and put that aside - hating her just makes her illness worse as it adds to her self disgust. Once you have done that, you can adopt a supporter role - telling her you know what is going on, encouraging her to get help when she is ready (including going to doctor's appointments with her) and picking up the emotional pieces when she has binged and feels that guilty urge to purge herself by vomiting. I am sure you understand that what she is doing has a terrible long term impact on her health. It maybe the case that once she gets out of the house and has to be more independent then life will distract her from her eating disorder. It may also get worse if she hangs out with the wrong crowd at college - that is the mistake I made. Like junkies have to abandon their druggie mates for recovery to work, eating disordered people have to give up those 'dieting' friends who make it seem normal when it isn't. Put down your anger, and be patient - she is going to need a good sisterly shoulder to cry on when she finally acknowledges her illness and is ready to change.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2009): As a teenager, I had anorexia. It was the just not eat one. My parents didn't display affection along with discipline. My mother was cold, than a warm parent. My perception of the world was very abnormal. I was the inferior one. I couldn't fit in. I seemed to be in the way. Later in life I had relationships with guys and because of the warmth and the affection, my eating became normal and the way I viewed the world changed. I hope this is helpful. I realise it was a psychological problem and the way out was when too much discipline stopped and I was accepted.
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