A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My sister met this so called great guy in November and put him in the friend bracket, so she said. February of 2017 after a short relationship with another guy didn’t work she started dating this so called great guy. In a week of dating she brought him around her two daughters 4 and 2years of age. My wife and I keep telling her it’s a bad idea but she ignored us. Two weeks ago she decided to get rid of her house and move into his house with her two girls. This guy acts as if he’s the best thing God made. Am I wrong to show tough love when this guy takes her for everything she has?This joker has two children born the same year a week apart and convinced her he wasn’t cheating. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2018): This man has no rights to those girls what so ever.nope nada done.Just because your sister said so does not make it so.He is not married to her so he is not even their stepfather.Too bad about the dad...I hope he got the loser good.This might hurt the dad in his custody fight but what he did is understandable.Call CPS yourself...she seems unfit.Is she doing drugs?Is he?The bath thing and being left alone with him for three days still creeps me out.Next time your sister goes away you volenteer to watch them....maybe he was the only person who would.But hold your tounge in front of her..you must not get cut off because you may be the only one that can save them.Never give up on them and always listen to them.They need you.
A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts  +, writes (31 January 2018):
 OP, drop it. You'll drive yourself nuts. Just be supportive. Don't be sour or judgemental towards your sister. She just wants to be loved and secure, even if it's lead her to stupid decisions. You're not perfect and you will have been blind to red flags before, even when they're staring you in the face. We all do.
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2018): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionMyself, my wife and the father got onto her about this and she told us this man has as much rights to the girls if she said so. To be honest the father picked up an assault charge behind it ( not the right way to handle it but we’ll understood) now his lawyers are involved. Only the children are getting hurt behind all this madness
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2018): I think this man who your sister hardly knows was alone and gave those little girls baths for three days sounds creepy as he LL to me and I would be burning up CPS phone the father's phone and the local police phone.I would keep calling and calling just so they check it out just to shut me up.The lawyer should be jumping on this fact...why is everyone just blowing this creepy fact off?God help those girls because those around them will not or just cannot.
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2018): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI just can’t believe she’s being so dumb. I understand things went sour with her ex but everything I say here she knows about this guy. I’m sure this won’t work out, it pains to see her ex sitting and waiting for her to come to senses and try to fix the family. I want to tell him to move on but that would be Hippocratic. Can’t believe she moved out of her four bedroom house with her two girls to move into a three bedroom house with a man and his three children.
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female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (30 January 2018):
Just stick around and occasionally ask your nieces if he plays any games they don't like. Do NOT put words in their mouths or subconsciously lead them to say something, as any truth will be lost.
We agree with you. Now leave it at that.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2018): This is where you tell her what you know and step-back. Chances are, it won't make any difference. She's smitten with him, and she's convinced he's god's-gift. The more you say, the more he'll do to brainwash your sister. She's a grown-woman. If things go foul, her ex will take his kids from her.
Nothing is more infuriating and frustrating than a woman in-love with a piece sh*t! I've been in your shoes many times with lady-friends of mine; and I've learned to be there to pick them up when they fall. Trying to school them when they're with him, is a waste of energy. They'll listen to him, not you.
My sisters haven't put me through anything like that.
Praise GOD!
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male
reader, Billy Bathgate +, writes (30 January 2018):
I assume your sister is an adult. What she does with her life is her business. If the guy turns out to be a con man of course you have no proof of that then that will be her problem.
Of course I have to wonder what kind of man would turn his back on his young nieces because their mother is a moron.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2018): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWe did a check on this guy and found out he has three children no problem the two last children are the same age a week apart and has the nerves to let it come out of his mouth that he wasn’t messing around. This man talks about his children mothers like a dog and acts as if he’s God gift to mankind. I love my sister but this is a no no.
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female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (30 January 2018):
Focus on making sure her daughters are safe. Very few decent guys would move in this soon, especially when kids are involved. Inform their father, as he may take her to court for custody or be granted check ups for the children's welfare, based on them living with a stranger.
Keep a log of suspicious things, just in case anything happens, but make sure she feels comfortable coming to you. Don't push her away, just try to steer clear of judging her.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2018): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThis is so refreshing hearing a female outside my family sharing the same views as we do. The father’s aware of this and was told by an attorney until harm is done to the children there’s nothing he can do about it. My niece told her father mommy went out of town and left them with him for three days and he was giving them baths. WTH!!!!!!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2018): Just where is the dad to thease two little girls? Maybe he should be told what she is doing because it is not in her kids interests that she is acting this way.Pedofiles look for women that have small children.She has not known this man that long and really has no idea who he is.Maybe you should run a background check on him.If you find anything in it that could harm thease little girls you call CPS asap.This guy could be a drug addict or felon no one knows because they have not known him long enough.Really your sister should have least waited a year before interduceing them at all and he should not even be left alone with them at that point.She can live dangerously but a good mother would never expose their young daughter's like that to what amounts to a complete stranger.Stay close to her no matter how much you have to bite your tongue.Those little girls may really need you someday and if you get cut off there will be no way you could help them.Keep your eyes open.Do not show tough love...you will be cut off and right now those little girls need you more than ever.I know I said that two times but it is really important.Watch what you say be there for them.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2018): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI’m grateful for the response and advises given as it helps a lot. As one reader put it, i’m her Brother and not her father and has no right telling her what to do. I couldn’t agree more, I love my sister and would do anything for her. Her children father is 100% active in their lives as a matter of fact work and the children is all he tends to want.
We all understand things at times doesn’t work out but I guess I would’ve love to see her take some me time and find herself instead of running to this so called thug.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2018): Nobody wants to listen when it comes to matters of the heart. As adults, we have to make our own decisions; and deal with the consequences. She's got two kids, and she might be desperate to find someone to help take care of them.
For the sake of the kids, don't turn your back on your sister; if she needs you. You're her brother, not her father.
She has you watching her back, but you don't have a right to tell her who to date, or what to do. If he's a bad choice; she'll find-out soon enough.
Hopefully she won't end-up pregnant again.
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