A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I am in love with my wife. She makes me very happy and we have a very good relationship. I have a twin sister. We are fraternal twins not identical. I have been with my wife for a few years now and things have been really good between us. My sister and I are very close. My wife and I both had serious relationships with other people before we met and I have not been jealous of her being with someone else before me. I knew the guy that my wife had a serious relationship with and I never had a problem with him until now. My sister has started seeing the same guy and I do not like the way he treats my sister and I do not like the way he disrespects my wife and myself. First of all my wife told me that he cheated on her from day one when they were together. He has been with prostitutes and he has a child with another woman that he constantly is behind on his child support with. He does drugs and has been in and out of jail. I told my sister this and he told her another story and now she is mad at my wife. Before they were getting along well but now my wife and my sister are not gettin along at all. Our parents don't like him either. My wife and him did not break up on good terms. He is always making snide innapropriate comments. We were all invited by our parents to dinner for instance and he was telling my sister that she needs to watch what she eats because she doesn't want to gain weight like my wife did. My wife had a baby. Of course she gained a little weight. So I got offended and I told him that he was really stepping over the line and we had a few words. My mom stepped in and we finished dinner. The next day he sent a picture to my cell phone of my wife in a bikini when they were together. Then he called me and said I just wanted you to know what she looked like before she gained all the weight. If he were standing in front of me I would have punched him right in the jaw. I told my sister this and she took his side. My sister has binged and purged in the past. I am really worried about her. She says she sees something in him no one else does. This is her first serious relationship. He is telling her everything she wants to hear and has convinced her that the only reason I don't like him is because he was in a relationship with my wife. Hardly. I admit that I don't like it but I accept it. I don't like him because he is a bad guy. Of all the guys she could find I don't understand what she sees in him. What can I do to get my sister to wake up and see him for what he really is? I feel like I am losing my sister and it is breaking my heart.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2010): brother serieusly it's a big problem but you have to be patient and be carful of him because HIs real objective is your wife so try hardly to never make her nerveous spetioly in this periode and about your sister i'm sure that someday she will wake up but she must find you behind her don't take quick desision because it can conplicate more all the best brother in humanité remenber never get nerveous in front of him show him how much you love your wife and congratulation for your first baby
A
female
reader, rambini  +, writes (13 April 2010):
 people can be innately stubborn and will always see what they want to see. you, your wife, your famly, have all seen him for what he is and one day your sister will too. she may get hurt by him but unfortunately that is a lesson she has to learn for herself and it will make her less naive about men in the future. just be there to support your sister when it all comes crashing down, and try to bite your tongue until then. but by all means continue to support your wife and be free to tell him to shut up if he dares be rude about her.
best of luck x
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (13 April 2010):
 Relax, she'll find out sooner or later. His true colors will surface some day or another. She may get hurt but there's nothing that can be done about that. Hopefully she won't be too damaged. If you keep bad mouthing him you'll just be driving her towards him. Try to ignore him the best you can.
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