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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: my sister really winds me up, she ruins everything for me and when i say everything i mean EVERYTHING shes such a tart! shes 13, yes only 13! and shes going out with a 17 year old who shes been with for 3 months and is already having sex with him, she sleeps with almost every guy she meets, she meets them, spreads her legs then dunt talk to them again! people think im exadurating but im really not! her boyfriends brother caught her in bed with his cousin!! i mean seriously?! who sleeps with their bofriends cousin, when i get boyfriends she ALWAYS flirts with them and then they end up splitting up with me, or whatever! i was with ***** for 9 months and we didnt have sex for 8 months of it, ive always wanted to wait until im ready, ill admit i rnt one of them people who waits until marrage because i dont want to wait till marrage. just until i feel ready and comfoortable, and i felt ready to do it and so did he, after 8 months he took my virginity, i also took his and it was amazin, so special id never felt so in love. but the second time we ever had sex we got caught which wasnt good at all. infact it was terrible. so everyone knows now that i arent a virgin, EVEN THOUGH IM LEGAL!! IM 16!! and my family think im a slag! mum was shocked at first but now shes not too bad, i can be open and talk to her now but everyone else says im a tart n stuff, it really pisses me off because i have sex with ONE boy when im legal, and in love! who i had been with for 8 months! my sister says im a slut cos i sleep with dirty old men!!!! it split us up 3 weeks ago because she was givin him to much grief. callin him a pervert and a kiddy fiddler and stuff, :( he got so annoyed and walked out! hes 20, thats not old! but its alrite for her to be 13 and with a 17 year old?! godddd!!! it pisses me off so much. why is my sister such a selfish little slag that sleeps around and no one finds out (shes slept with 4 guys while shes been with her boyfriend shes with now!! thats in 3 months for fucks saake!!) and as soon as i loose my virginity to the love of my life im the biggest slag walking and my relationships RUINED because of her!! i want him back so bad and she just ruined any chance i had with him! im sorry if this post is pointless i just rreally neeed a bit of advice, on how to secretly kill her or something! i hate her so much. why is she like this?! shes always had EVERYTHING shes ever wanted, shes always been the spoilt one, daddys little princess one, blue eyed girl, the perfect sweethear :| and ive always been the eldest, the one who can cope. the one that no one takes notice of. i cry myself to sleep nearly every night! i cant cope!
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2008): look, i know how u feel, my brother has ruined every good relationship i've had. This girl i've known for entire life is kinda the love of my life. i've always loved her. i'm 17 now but what i did was make sure whoever ur with knows what kind of person ur sister is, so they they're not suprised with what she may try to do. so she cant break u guys up. try to talk some sense into her, just try to get not to interfere with ur life, u should let her ruin it just for her to sleep with another guy.
A
female
reader, Estifany  +, writes (29 July 2008):
Have you told your parents that your little sister sleeps around? If they don't believe you then just tell them not to be surprised when she turns up 14/15 and pregnant. No one likes to hear "I told you so". As for your sister, she know she's a slut but she just wants to make you feel bad so she won't have to. Just ignore her. That is the best thing. Act as though she doesn't exist. My sister was probably one of the biggest slut-bags that I had ever known, but she is they only one that has to live with her decisions and although you aren't really grown (you are 16, but I know in Britain you are considered an adult) you have made better decisions then she has. Just ignore her. If it gets so bad then perhaps you should think about living on your own for a while. But only if you're ready. It isn't easy.
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A
male
reader, ChiRaven  +, writes (29 July 2008):
 As the oldest child who had a younger sister who was daddy's darling I can relate to a lot of what you say. It's a tough position to be in. You really ARE held to a different standard, and even if your parents were to find out about your younger sister having sex at this point they would probably blame it at least partly on you for giving her a bad example! That's just the way it works when you're the oldest. It's damned unfair. But who ever said that life is fair? No, you can't kill her even though you want to. Why, because "you're the oldest".
At your age, younger sisters are enough to make you want to chew galvo and spit roofing nails. It works the same way with brothers, too. The first great love of my life broke up with me, and my younger brother started dating her, and because I had a drivers license and he didn't I had to drive him on dates with her and watch the two of them making out in the back seat of the car. Parents forced me to do it. I was not even allowed to refuse and just stay home.
Unfortunately, there's only one real cure for it, and that's time. Yes, bratty as they are they DO grow out of it and some of them actually grow up to be decent human beings eventually.
And you know why they do it? Because she envies you. There are so many ways that you are so much better than she is that she thinks she will never be able to live up to what you are. That's part of what it means to be the first child, too. You're the pace setter. You are the best. She just can't stand that. She needs to undermine you, to grab attention from boys any way she can, because she knows she can never be as good as you are. Unfortunately you're at a stage of life where your advantages plus a dollar bill will just about buy you a coke at McDonalds or something, but those advantages are very real and your sister feels them even if you don't.
Now comes the real hell. You know what you have to do? You have to be the good one in spite of it all. You have to stand up tall, stiffen your spine, and love that worthless little brat anyway. She's your sister. At the end of the day no matter what she's done you're stuck with her, at least for now. She can be the catty bitch. You have to be bigger than that. Because you ARE bigger than that. Yes, it hurts. Yes, you cry. A lot. Believe me, I know. Been there. A lot. It's been a long time, but I remember. But I'll let you in on another secret. In the long run, it's worth it, and in the long run she'll thank you for being who and what you are.
Not much of a payoff for what you're going through now, maybe, but since you're pretty much stuck with what you've got in the present anyway you might as well go for the long term payoff.
Good luck, young lady. I surely don't envy you.
And stand tall!
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A
female
reader, Shebnem  +, writes (29 July 2008):
Dear. You dont have to kill her. if say the truth to your dad or mom they will believe you.the best way is to write an email or message telling the truth about her and you. she is on the wrong way. your parents are your parents even if they get angry or beat you doesnt matter theey are right because you both did wrong. I am not judging you. I just understand you how you feel. Write a letter or email about ur thoughts to ur parents and say that u r sorry., but at the same time tell them that it is not letting down my sister but it is for her best and ask to help both of you. they can shout or whatever but don;t get offended. give chance to urself they will forgive you and understand you at least u r their daughter. about ur sister I can say that she not normal may be it is because of her age or may be she was a princess al the time, but she has to understand that what is good and what is wrong. she can hate u for a while but later she will understand. because she can catch deseases from those guys and her life is in danger. please tell to ur parents speaking normally and quietly. make them to believe you. take care. write me what happened then. i will wait.
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A
female
reader, lexilou +, writes (29 July 2008):
 God arent sisters annoying!!
First of all do you feel better for getting it off your chest?
I was the baby sister and my older sister HATED me so much, I could do nothing wrong and she was always in trouble. Mums expect more from their older kids and baby their younger ones so what you are experiencing is normal. You are also incredibly jealous of your sister and she is also jealous of you. Try now to make friends or this jealousy will follow you both into adulthood and spoil your relationship.
Make a truce, tell her to accept your relationship with the man of your choosing and you will accept the way she wants to live her life.
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A
female
reader, pepper27 +, writes (29 July 2008):
 Sweetheart take a deep breath please I no were you are coming from ok Im the eldest and my sister well she was not the same as you have descibed yours but she did get away with alot of things that I got blamed for and at your age same as my sister 3 yrs difference it was a nightmare for awhile..But Im not a mean person even though at that age I wanted to be just like your saying....Jealousy springs to mind hunny it may sound daft but even when someone has everything they can still be jealous and this is what it was like for me in those times..As we have grown up she can still show that side but I choose not to be like that, I choose to be the person I am kind and caring no matter what...Now your b/f left because of her cruel words can you not plan a meeting with him to sort things out love? No one need no as long as your safe, (GOT TO MAKE SURE) It matters not what people think in your heart you no what you are doing and have done so your heart is good and true thats all that matters and also its good you can now openly speak with your mum..By the sounds of things hunny your sister has got to you so much its affecting you in such a negative way its harmfull to your health ( and hers by the sounds of things but dont hurt her) As time goes on she will have to learn from her mistakes in life and you are streets ahead there love you no whats right and whats wrong you sound like a kind caring person who has just had enough of all the crap your little sis gets away with. It will catch up with her hunny no one need do anything as deep down she sounds unhappy as why would she want to ruin everything for you if she was truely happy it doesnt make sense, She needs alot of attention but she will one day understand that she is going about it the wrong way, You cant hide things forever people will and do talk...You need to concentrate on you and give yourself a pat on the back for being the person you are. If you can try and get intouch with your ex b/f then do it and try and talk with him about these awfull words that were said and hopefully you two can sort it out and whatever may or will be said will have to be ignored as it is spitefull words that mean nothing said in anger for whatever reason she is angry about at the time by the sound of things.. No he is not to old my son is 19 and his g/f is 16 and they are very happy..These things are sent to test us love and your strong you can let this go over your head as I did and come through a more understanding person for it believe me. Give yourself some time and T.L.C pamper you and as hard as it may be try to ignore her behaviour as it will all catch up with her in the end love, I always am kind to my sister it matters not if she is in a bitchy mood or not. I swear and growl to myself or a friend to get it out now and again but I dont let it get to me as I no its just her insecurity when she is like this..If you need a chat message me love TAKE CARE OF YOU WITH LOTS OF LOVE N HUGS MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2008): First you have to confront your sister. Tell her you know all about her sexual exploits and even though you don't approve of her dating a 17 year old, she had NO right to ruin your relationship with your ex boyfriend. She needs to mind her own business - but at the same time, you have to mind your own. So your sister is a tart. If you yell and scream and nag her to stop she'll be more likely to continue and get preggers or a STD or something horrible.All you can do is tell her you're worried that if she continues having sex with random people that she'll end up in a whole heap of trouble, and please please can she stop at least till she turns 16. Hopefully she will respect your opinion and you can ask her to promise to leave your boyfriend alone and in return you will leave her alone even though you think her behaviour is dangerous.Secondly, track down your boyfriend and apologise on your sister's behalf (or even better get your sister to apologise, though this would be like trying to nail jelly to a wall). It sounds like you really really want him back and the only reason he left was because he felt intimidated by your sister's comments on his age. You're 16 and he's 20? Well that's not too bad. At least you are legal. But she's not! I'm more concerned with that.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2008): Your sister shouldnt be sleeping around with 5 guys at once! She could get pregnant or even an STI. she could be pregnant or with an STI right now! You should give her some sisterly advice about this stuff and tell her not to do it. Also you should explain the legal age to her. in the laws eyes it is her bf whos the kiddy fiddler not yours! tell her this. Try tellling her how much you loved your bf and how much she has hurt your feeling. if she does not listen call her bf a perve just like she did to yours. try getting her to apologise to your bf for her behavior.
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