A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:In a conversation with my mother, My sister laughed when Mom made a comment that maybe someone at her school would ask her out if she takes a break from her current boyfriend. In response, my Sister explained that nobody askes anyone out on dates anymore. and quot;They get drunk at parties and hookup-thats how relationships begin when youre in college and quot;Even though, my sister didnt say that to me, it made me wonder if thats what has been holding a relationship out of my life-the fact that men my age dont ask for a date and that I dont really drink or go to parties or have causal sex while intoxicated without commitment. Do u see this as a change for me to make in order to bring a relationship into my life?If you are a straight edge and also in your mid 20s can you please share how you usually start relationships?
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2008): I think that if you were to ask a lot of other people who go to college, if what you sister stated was true, you might get very different answers. Personally, I know a lot of young people who go to college, and many make good decisions not to party and have casual sex. So I really think you should not feel that college is a place where the guys do this. Going to college is a time to expand your life, get training for a career. Some guys take that seriously and study...a lot don't. If you were to attend college yourself, my advice would be to make good choices in whom you date and get involved with. It's a decision we make about our lives. Either get wrapped up in the party scene or look for a male who shares similar values to you. In other words, be true to yourself, use your head and choose wisely.
A
female
reader, Ah-ha  +, writes (1 September 2008):
Hello there, Do not change what you're doing in order to get a guy. Most of these 'hook ups' don't end in anything but a one night stand, or perhaps a series of one night stands if you're lucky. If people are into this, great! Let them go out, get trashed and have sex. If it doesn't appeal to you, please don't bother to go out of your way. I suspect the kind of man you want to find won't be at a frat party, and don't let anybody make you feel 'different' for not being into that scene, it's not for everybody. You're sister is partially right in that you need to get out there and socialise to meet people to date in the first place, but that doesn't necessarily involve partying. But if you want to start partying and go a little crazy, have a wonderful time, stay in control, use a condom, and don't expect a relationship out of it, expect a night.To summarise, just stay true to yourself, everything falls into place when you just follow that little rule :DHope this was helpful,-A
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A
male
reader, bg +, writes (1 September 2008):
NO... NO NO NO. Don't become that kind of girl! That kind of thing breaks my heart. There are guys out there interested in more than sex, I'm one of them.The hard part about meeting potential mates is how distant society has become today. It's why I'm talking to you through a keyboard and not over a cup of coffee.Cavorting like a drunken fool is a plea bargain, don't give up on the dating scene. Sex alone is not a relationship, it never has been and never will be!
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