A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm concerned about my older sister, recently we've attended two funerals (neither individual knew the other, one was a business colleague of my Dad's, one was a neighbor killed in a car crash). I'm 19, my sister's 24, and single.It's her attitude to being single that's concerning me... she's used both funerals as a pick-up joint of some sort, and it creeps me out, big time!I read on here that there's a nickname for this sort of thing, but I honestly didn't know that.She often tells me how she worries about being single, gets ignored by the men, not in a moaning kind of way, but a depressed, jaded way. She says she likes her job and her family, but that's about it in life, she feels low because what she wants is hard to find, no matter how much effort she makes, she ends up as a friend or treated as a joke and she wants more.I feel worried, what if we have to go to another funeral, could she do this again?I really don't know how to talk to her about this and need your help, it's worrying me.
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2014): just start off by saying, "hey, i'm a bit concerned about you. i don't know if your deliberately trying to do this, but you seem to be picking up guys from funerals. i know you want a lover, but i don't think this is the way to get one. try some dating websites." or maybe you could introduce her to one of your guy friends.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (13 February 2014):
 It's not like she's crashing funerals of strangers is it?
That would be USING funerals to meet men... if she HAPPENS to meet a guy at a funeral she was attending due to KNOWING the deceased... well then that's how she met them...
It's like any other social event only it's a sad one. What if she was using WEDDINGS to meet men would that be different? why or why not?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2014): It think your sister may be using every opportunity she can to meet guys. Those funerals were for people who aren't relatives, and there were eligible men there. It may creep you out; but there really isn't anything wrong with it.
It's polite and proper to introduce yourself at a funeral to people who don't know you. You may make it out to be something creepy. You're entitled to your opinion. That doesn't make you right.
If she was acting like she was at a bar; and behaving calloused, unsympathetic to the grieving family, or irreverent during the burial ceremony, that's different.
That is something to be concerned about. Not introducing herself to single men.
Where you meet people is purely incidental. You'll never know when and where the love of your life will walk up and greet you. If the men were receptive and friendly. It was a good move on her part.
She was only increasing her chances of meeting eligible men. It might be weird and desperate to you; but if it yielded any positive results, good for her. It's unorthodox, but if it works for her; let her deal with whatever consequences it brings. Good or bad.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (13 February 2014):
For some people, funerals are one of the only places they get to meet a lot of new people, so it's not surprising that, just like weddings, people end up hooking up.
If your bothered by the fact that it's a funeral then don't go picking up guys at one. But that obviously doesn't bother your sister and there's not a good reason it should.
Unless of course she's embarrassing herself or distracting people (other than you).
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (13 February 2014):
 Unless she is totally BLATANT about it, you never know where you will met someone special. Some people look for dates at weddings others at funerals. And as long as she doesn't start to go to funerals of people she don't know AT ALL, it's not that bad. But I can see how it comes off as being in bad taste. I would find it a little off putting myself.
Maybe she comes off as TOO DESPERATE? That would be my guess. Men don't do desperate women, because they usually come with drama.
She is your sister. I don't know how close you are but I would mention how you perceive her behavior, she might not even be aware of it, because her focus is on "catching" a man. Any man. On the other hand, it's her life.
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