A
female
age
36-40,
*uckie87
writes:Hello, Well here it comes, I have been with my boyfriend for 5 months now. I love him dearly, but i am extremely jealous and insecure about myself. I am always thinking that he is at work cheating on me, or he is texting other girls behind my back. About a year ago, i was dating this guy and he was a sweet talker. Well, we had our thing going on, and we dated. Well my sister ended up dating him, and told me nothing in regards to it, she lied to me. I would question her and she would deny everything, since i had already noticed something going on. She had seen me date this guy and would give me advise in regards to him, and ended up dating him! When i asked her to leave him and not hurt me that way, she said she didn't care about anything i said, but her happiness. Now she is 8 months pregnant. The worse part is that me and her had just moved into a house and i couldn't break lease so i had to stay, up to now to witness everything. WHen i met my boyfriend, i didn't feel so insecure about the situation, but now 5 months later, i constantly have the horrible feeling that he is cheating on me with my sister as well. I have even delusioned of them doing stuff together,and have had constant dreams about them togsther and it drives me nuts. My ex, her, my boyfriend, and i live together in the same home. So i am constantly worried that i am going to get screwed over again. I want to trust my boyfriend, because he is so sweet to me, he takes care of me, and is even wanting to marry me. He cries everytime i accuse him of cheating on me, but i cannot help but to on a daily baisis feel he is cheating on me. Help, i need advise and hopefully a solutiuon. What can i do to get over this? Thanks
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Carrot2000 +, writes (17 June 2010):
 Your current boyfriend is not the same person as your ex and you must stop punishing him for what your ex did.
I can understand your fears; once bitten, twice shy, and your sister and your ex are the snakes. They deserve one another. But you got what you deserved, too: a sweet, honest boyfriend that cares about you. You won't have him long, though, if you allow your paranoia and insecurities to take over. Plus, your sister is 8 months pregnant; do you honestly think your boyfriend finds her sexually attractive right now? At 8 months pregnant and having a dog for a boyfriend, your sister has too much going on to be interested in seducing your new boyfriend.
If possible, you need to move out-- let your ex and your sister worry about the lease. You need to get as far away from the people who caused you pain so you don't have to be reminded daily of their betrayal. Distancing yourself from them will help you heal and help you build trust in your current relationship, allowing you and your new boyfriend to grow as a couple.
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