A
female
age
30-35,
*maya153
writes: Myself and my sister used to be the best of friends. We were closer than anything, I'd never been closer to anybody else my whole life (She's 21, I'm 19). However, over the last year or so, something's changed. I've always had a lot more friends than my sister - to be honest, she doesn't have any friends apart from family and I've always had a good social life, whereas she is rather introverted. Anyway, I've had a boyfriend for the past year and a half and over the past half year or so my boyfriend and I have gotten extremely close. My sister went away for the summer and when she came back, she saw how close we had gotten. I know that he's the one - we talk for hours on end every day and we see each other as much as we can. However, my sister has become really odd towards him. Every time I go on the phone to him, see him etc she gets moody with me and will barely talk to me. I've asked her what her problem is but she just doesn't reply. It really does my head in that she's so immature, and I want her to like my boyfriend and accept our relationship because he isn't going anywhere, he's my best friend and is the guy I want to be with for the rest of my life. How should I deal with this? She hates me even bringing him up in conversation, and just seems fed up whenever I talk about him, often passing remarks like "Isn't he sick of you yet?" How should I deal with her jealousy? Please help!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2013): well siblings rivalry existed as long as i can remember and the best thing to do is to focus on your relationship with your boyfriend and YES try not to talk about him all the time, also don't worry about your sister's response "Isn't he sick of you yet?" she is definitely jealous of you and she is trying to hurt you. I am a lot older than you, I am almost 20 years old than you and I have been in the same situation with my sister who is 2 years older than me. I am afraid she was exactly like your sister, had almost no friends in school and i used to take her with me to my friends' houses or when I go out with my friends. Her jealousy continues to this very day although she is a lucky duck, I introduced her to a friend of my ex boyfriend / ex fiancé since she had nobody to date, she ended up getting married in less than a year, my fiancé and myself broke up - he broke up with me because he loves me, this is what he said - anyway my sister now has two beautiful kids, a son and a daughter, bought a house and what not but when I had my long term relationships and she had none in the past she used to tell me things like "You look Ugly " I am not saying stay away from your sister but all what I'm saying is be careful. I am alone now, still single, never got married, wasn't as lucky as my sister to find the one whereas my sister lives happily ever after for years now and would still be jealous about my social life. Some people can never feel happy for others and I think it is even worse when this jealous person is a family member. All the best !!
A
female
reader, oldbag +, writes (10 December 2013):
 She went away in summer and you didn't go with her, so it's ok for her to have some 'me' time then?!
Just don't mention him to her, ask her what's going on in her life, show her you haven't forgotten her. Have a shopping day together or a night of girly DVDs n wine.
Also - can you maybe set her up a date with a guy she might like? Ask her to join you on a double date so it's casually done.
It's not your problem really, it's hers. She has to accept you are in a relationship and you don't need her causing problems, you care about your boyfriend and your being happy
should please your sister.
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (10 December 2013):
 I agree, blood is thicker than water and your sister probably feels like she cannot be as close to you as she once was. It's nice to have a boyfriend but you are doing what a lot of people do, you are making him your main focus and go to person and this is a mistake.
I doubt your sister is behaving like this out of malice, it's clear to see she is struggling with the loss and that is why she doesn't say anything when you ask what's wrong.
Jealousy is not always a planned emotion...it means that something is missing or is lost, it means someone is hurting and if you replace one special person with someone else, the person cast aside will be hurting quite a lot.
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A
male
reader, CMMP  +, writes (10 December 2013):
I have two daughters, 3 and 5, and so I look at this from their point of view 16 years in the future.
They are extremely close and love each other so much. But they are a little jealous if they're left out of a certain part of the others life. For instance, the younger one was sad that her sister was going off to school without her, so we put her in preschool so she'd feel better.
I'm guessing that your sister is sad that she is no longer the closest person to you, and she may be slightly jealous that you have a boyfriend and she doesn't.
What I'd suggest is that you try and maintain a good relationship with her, don't stop doing things that you did before. Don't cast her to the side, because believe it or not, your boyfriend probably isn't the one. And if you were to have your heart broken who would be there for you?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2013): Well why can're you make time for you and your sister. You said your self that socially you are better so she is probably feeling alone, you went from saying 'she was my best friend' to 'he is my best friend' I'm not saying you should not feel like that toward him but even from that post it kinda seems like you have pushed her to the side a little.
And by the way. As much as you love him you may not even be together in 2 years time but your sister will. Never put a man before you family at least until you have a ring. I have been with my partner for 4 years love him with all my heart and am pregnant with our second :-) but also under NO dilution that we may not be together in a few years time. Just bare that in mind.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2013): There isn't much you can say, or should try to do. Your sister has to come around when she decides her moods and rudeness make no difference to anyone but her.The more you react and try to discuss your concern, the more you validate her bad behavior. She is the older of the two, and she knows better. Jealousy only gets aggravated when you, the target subject, makes any attempt to squelch the green monster in your sister. She gets all the more irritated, and will only step up her performance to annoy you.Continue being nice to her. Ignore the behavior, and once in a while; just acknowledge that you know what it's about without making any further reference to it. Leave it alone.The love isn't gone, it's just hidden beneath her resentment; until she finally gets used to the fact.You're still sisters, and she's is letting a guy come between you. Your problem dates back through the ages.The final outcome is, you'll come together in a crisis; or when she needs you. Always be there for her and set your differences aside.This might be her way from now on, so you have to rise above it; and continue being a loving and supporting sister.You tried to talk to her, she wouldn't budge. Turn your attention to your boyfriend, she's trying to steal back your attention away from him. She is the victim of her own personality, there isn't much anyone can do about that either. It's up to her to change her own situation. Taking it out on you is only alienating someone who loves her dearly. Fate will force her to turn to you someday. Be there when she needs you. Enjoy your life and new boyfriend. She'll miss you and shake it off, or just continue to be withdrawn and lonely.
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