A
female
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anonymous
writes:hi everyone:) from last november onwards i had been speaking to a man online (not a dating site - just a footie forum!) - i was 17 at the time and he was 40, and at first it was just friendly stuff, and we got on really well:) and then we both realised we had feelings for each other and we were talking at every oppurtunity we had! in march we decided to meet up, and i didnt tell my family, and we met twice after that, without my family knowing:) then i went to france with him for three weeks (his parents have a place over there) and my family knew i had a boyfriend by then, but they didnt know about the age difference or how we met. i sent them a letter from france explaining everything cos i couldnt lie any longer! i know it was totally wrong of me to keep this from them for so long, and i apologized alot for that at the time. I got back from france and my parents were quite angry and upset that i had lied to them, which i totally understood, but they are very open minded (my sis is gay and they are fine with that) and said that they dont wanna split us up, and that theyre ok with us. and they met him and liked him alot:) so everything was fine with my parents!:) But my sis was devastated and my parents told me she was having some sort of breakdown, and that she didnt wanna see me, and defo not my boyfriend! they couldnt get it out of her what exactly had upset her so much. i wrote her another letter saying i was sorry for lying. she also said at first that she couldnt go on holiday with me (me, my sis and mum had a holiday booked shorlty after i came back from france). anyway within a few days she agreed to see me and things are back to normal between us now and she agreed to me going on holiday with her. she still refuses to see my boyfriend and says she never ever wants to! which is upsetting for me!:( i guess my question is, why is she acting like this (no-one can get it out of her)? being gay, i expected her to be open minded enough to see past the age difference but she seems very judgemental about it:( ive apologized for lying, but i refuse to apologize for being with the man i love, and who loves me! he really is a great guy:) im not saying sorry for being happy! my family totally accepted her being gay, and it hurts that she cant give some of that back:( i just dont understand what's going on:(
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhi everyone, thanks for replying:) paddy - yeh i suppose u could say that my sis didnt choose to be gay, and i chose to be with this man, but i do believe that u cant help who u fall for, and that applies to everyone - not just gay people:)
and to heart broken gurl - why should i "do all of us ppl in this world a favor and break his damn heart"??!! how would that be doing u a favour?! it wouldnt - it would only be making me unhappy! yes there's an age difference but were happy and the age difference isnt an issue for us:) just cos something is different it doesnt mean its wrong. and just cos your guy was too old for u (by the way there's a big difference between an 11 and 17 year old - child and adult, and two adults) that doesnt mean its like that in every case! im happy with him:) i just hope my sis can be happy for me one day! and yeh weve kissed and no he's not wrinkly!! he's 40 not 60!!
A
male
reader, paddy +, writes (9 January 2007):
The age difference is to drastic 17 to 40 thats life times away, but yr sister being gay thats just in her genes. and i belive it would be harder to accept a relation ship with an age gap like yours rather than a family member being gay!
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A
female
reader, aphexinfinite +, writes (9 January 2007):
 i think its odd, obviously shes maybe feeling hurt that you ddnt tell her but i dont think that is the cause for the way she is behaving now..it seems that it must be something to do with what has happened, but why has she refused to see youre boyfriend that is odd..all i can say is that you need ure happyiness and ure sister should be happy for you..even if my sister was dating someone i disagreed with i would want her to be happy its her choice and she should make it not me..im sorry youre sister is acting this way hope you have the best for youre future xxx A
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A
female
reader, heartxbrokenxgurl  +, writes (9 January 2007):
 id say break up with the man thats to old when ur 25 n want to get married maybe sooner he could be dead n hes to old for u take it from somewho knos i was 11 n i dated a 17 yr old not 23 yrs older but 6 yrs i decided to break up with him that was just to old for me u shuld do all of us ppl in this world a favor and break his damn heart n say srry ur just to old for me n have u guys kissed that would be wrong he would prob. have wrinkles i agree wit ur sis it just aint right yo
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