A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:This may sound strange, but my sister seems to have some kind of obsession with my ex boyfriends. When I break up with someone I rarely stay friends with them, not because I dislike them, but because I like to make a clean break and move on and I find that staying friends with them feels awkward. But my sister, who is a few years younger than me, seems desperate to hang on to what she sees as 'friendship' with the guys I've dated, even if she only met them a couple of times when I was dating them. She claims she's only being polite and friendly, but this has led to several awkward situations. On one occasion we were supermarket shopping together and she spotted an ex of mine and literally ran across the supermarket to talk to him and dragged the poor guy over to talk to me, even though neither of us wanted to speak to each other, as we were busy doing our own thing. On another occasion she chatted to an ex of mine on the bus and told him every detail of my life and what I was doing - she hardly knew the guy and I'd had quite a few problems with him hassling me after we broke up, so I didn't want him knowing about my life. She even wanted to stay in touch with a guy who was abusive towards me, even though she only met him twice and barely knew him. I just find her behaviour really odd and embarassing - I don't have anything to do with any of her exes and I can't understand this obsession with mine. Does anybody have any advice?
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female
reader, oldbag +, writes (20 January 2013):
 Hi
Weird! Just tell her to keep YOUR private life private,explain you don't feel the need to stay in touch with your past even if she does. And what you do now is your business,not theirs.
I wouldn't introduce her to any more,or talk to her about who your dating,if she lives elsewhere she doesn't need to know.Unless your about to marry the guy there's no point really if your sisters like this.
Does your sister date and stay in touch with her ex's and how old is she? Is she just niaive maybe?
A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (20 January 2013):
Hi there. It is rather unusual to say the least.
From what you say, it doesn't sound like she is keeping in touch with them so she can date them herself, because she brings them over to talk to you - if she's with you at the time.
Otherwise, she just keeps the ex boyfriends informed of your current life.
There doesn't seem to be much point to it, does there?
Do you see your sister very often?
And, do you live close to her?
Why I ask this, is that perhaps from now on, you could NOT tell her who you are going out with, at any time - so as to avoid this situation completely.
And not only don't tell her, but also, don't ever take any guy you are dating to meet her, so then she doesn't even know what they look like.
So you will have to be a little secretive from now on.
If you haven't done so to date, well then it might be a really good idea for you to have a chat to her about this habit of hers, and - without arguing at all - just make it very clear to her, about how really uncomfortable it is for you each time she does this.
If you have said nothing before now, she may have absolutely no idea, how it makes you feel.
So all the more reason to clarify things for her.
I'm sure she doesn't mean to upset you in any way, nevertheless, she does need to understand how very awkward it is for you each time it happens.
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