A
female
age
30-35,
*ondonergirl
writes:I'm going to try keep this as short as possible. Basically i've liked this guy (i'll call him james)for a while now. I've not told anyone apart from my sister as we're very close. Last week we all went out (me, james my sister and a few other friends) for some drinks. It was the first time James and my sister had met. I knew straight away that she liked him, she was being really talkative and flirty. At first it didn't bother me, i thought she was just being friendly, but i began to see she was all over him and told her twice to back off. She kept asking me if i was sure i liked him, to which i replied "yes. i do. so back off." Anyway she ceased to back off and i ended up going home, hurt and angry. The next morning she said her and James were frantic when they couldn't find me in the club and thought something had happened to me. When i confronted her about her flirting with James she apologized and seemed shocked and said she didnt realize, she only thought she was being friendly and she'd had a bit to drink. I forgave her on the spot. Why would my own sister want to hurt me like that? I thought i had just been silly. The next weekend we all went out again. My sister got really really drunk, like legless and had to be carried alot of the time. Long story short she kissed James. Twice. I was so hurt I cried for ages. I'm now not speaking to either of them. My sister doesnt appear to be sorry but James has been texting me like mad with apologies, even though he did lie about how many times he had kissed my sister (he didn't realize i saw them the second time) and i've told him to get lost basically. I don't know even why he's apologizing seeing as he wasnt my boyfriend or anything, just my friend. I just feel angry, lonely and hurt and i don't know what to do, whether to forgive james, how to go about me and my sisters friendship? Am i over reacting? If he likes my sister better than me i shouldnt be a sore loser right? even if she did throw herself at him. Any thoughts would be appreciated.
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female
reader, londonergirl +, writes (7 April 2009):
londonergirl is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the advice girls. I completely agree with celiaaletta's analysis of my sister being "attention hungry" you're completely right. We still aren't talking, she's made no attempt to fix our relationship at all. Makes you wonder, if you can't trust your own blood who can you trust eh? It's rather sad. The fact that it's my sister who has done this to me makes it hurt the most.
James on the other hand is still not giving up with the apologies. He says he "fucked up badly, really messed things up" and he "doesn't know why he done it." I agree that it's odd behaviour for someone whose just a friend, but I don't know if anything could ever happen with James now. I'd always feel that he picked my sister first and I was second choice, that's just how i think. Anyway I ignored him last time he IM'd me but if he makes another attempt to fix things then i think i'll forgive him. As for me and my sister I think our relationship is damaged quite badly. Who knows.
Anyway thanks for the advice, this is a great little site to vent your problems! x
A
female
reader, ilovebowsandcherries +, writes (1 April 2009):
 hun talk to James about it maybe he's being like this because he didn't realize you liked him and maybe he does genuinely like you as well, as for your sister well sisters are mean! i know!
just talk to her and tell her about it just tell her how upset and hurt you were and are.
no you're not over reacting you trusted your sister in telling her your feelings for him and she knew how you felt but still like rubbed it in your face.
i'd just sit her down and tell her how upset you are.
and also talk to james ask him why is he apologizing?
find out if he does like you
hope this helps.
message me you need anything else.
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