A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi,I'm currently in a bit of a complicated situation. I've been seeing a girl for the last few months who finished her 4 yr relationship about a year ago. When things started to get couply between us i could tell something was up and she told me that she was confused, and wasn't sure about being in another relationship yet. She said she wanted to carry on as it was but after a while told me that she was still confused. Then we broke up for about 3 days and then got back together. Now were apart for a month because of Uni and she said she needed this time to think about 'relationship stuff'...Obviously my first thought was that she was still in love with her ex, but we didn't get together until about 7 months after they broke up...so if she wanted to get back with him then she could have done. She says she doesn't love him and that she h8s him (which I know means nothing because every1 says that). I've told her that she should've ended it with us earlier when she first felt confused but she says she likes me... The problem is im falling for her and I don't want to get f***ed around...but I don't want to end it with her because of the possibility of it going somewhere.Any advice on what I should do?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, ShannonB  +, writes (1 April 2009):
She once loved him and that emotional memory will take time and effort to displace. (It is almost impossible to hate someone unless you love them and then they intentionally hurt you.)
Many people are not willing to make that kind of time sacrifice for a potential relationship - "other fish in the sea".
If there are other factors holding you apart, you mentioned she went off to a university, the relationship might be doomed anyway. This also tells me you're at least in your late teens, maybe early twenties - so can you see each other almost everyday?
If you were younger, we would expect the relationship to be less intense and weekends only might be fine. I dated a mynx over the summer between high-school and college that lived about almost two hours away but was well worth the weekend drives ;) Generally, don't expect these high-school romances to last (some do but not many, alright very few) but many people meet their future spouse in college.
PS Don't write like B1FF. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/BIFF
A
female
reader, Bamababe +, writes (1 April 2009):
You shouldn't worry so much. Girls are very complex creatures. She is probably confused because she likes you alot and doesn't want to end up getting hurt again. With her being in the relationship for so long she probably does still have feelings for her ex and that's why you should stand by and just let her know you are there for her and you do care.
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