A
male
age
30-35,
*ilotGuy
writes:I'm 21, my sister is 25 and my cousin is 23 (we are 2nd cousins). I know my cousin has liked my sister for a long time (in fact, quite a few of our cousins have liked my sister) but yesterday he wanted to talk to me about this and he confessed that he has never felt this way about any other girl, even his last 2 girlfriends with whom he had long-term serious relationships with. But during all this time my sister didn't like him romantically at all. He also said he has fallen in love with my sister. But just the thought of them 2 makes me uncomfortable.We went on holiday a couple of weeks ago (me, my sister, my cousin and 2 other girl cousins) and my cousin kept making it obvious that he wanted my sister. Then the night before our flight him and my sister had a really long talk and he confessed he was falling in love with her. On that same night they kissed after a night out of clubbing. They were both drunk and my sister said that's why she kissed him back. I didn't know whether to believe it or not. Then at the airport, him and my sister were having a really long talk again and my sister told me she really likes him.The thing that makes me mad is that my sister has been saying so much bad stuff about my cousin. Stuff like him being a sleazebag, he's too desperate and needy, he's so insecure and a cheat etc. She told me she recognized all this stuff when she was helping him get over a really bad break-up with his ex-girlfriend. And now she tells me after letting him explain about everything that has happened to him she understands. And she says nobody has seen his romantic side. He had a romantic side when he was with his ex-girlfriend yet he still cheated. Anyway, they say they are going to tell the whole family soon because now my sister is falling in love with him also (all it took was 2 days, wtf!). She also says she can see herself marrying my cousin. The thought of my cousin and sister having sex makes me sick. I just hope it doesn't cause any problems with families, especially if the relationship doesn't work out. And when all our friends find out too everyone will be talking and gossipping. But I told my sister it's making me uncomfortable and she says I just need to get over it (which is true I guess). But I don't see cousins dating each other as normal, is it right for me to feel uncomfortable? Or should I just suck it up and accept it?They haven't had sex yet, just kissing/making out. But from the sounds of it they are both in love with each other so if the relationship goes far enough then they will end up having sex. Am I over-analyzing? Am I caring too much?
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male
reader, Linton  +, writes (16 September 2011):
If you think your sister is in love with somebody who can't be trusted, I guess that's a problem with anybody, cousin or not. On the cousin thing, here's an article about how cousin marriages turn out in terms of number of children and grand children. After all biologically that's the whole point of sex. [A. Helgason et al., Science 319 813 (2008)] It will cost you a couple of bucks to buy it from sciencemag.org. That's the journal for the American Association for the Advancement of Science. It's one of the two most prestigious science journals in the world, maybe number one. You'll need to read the whole thing; they don't figure kinship in quite the usual way and when the graph second cousins its actually second cousins or closer to the ideal match is third cousin. Anything closer or more distant is lett fertile in the second generation.
Armed with that, you can show it to your sister. Yes, people say fun now - worry about kids later. But falling in love is going to impact any kids, so it's never too soon to think about it. Besides (and I'm only half kidding) if your sister showed him the paper and he's not really in it for the long run, be might bolt and make everybody happier, eh what?
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2011): I'd be worried if you didn't have any scruples.
But given it is not illegal in the U.K. for cousins to date and all, there is little you can do but wear it.
Besides, if they are happy, then let it go. They are two consenting adults, and they aren't doing anything the law says is wrong.
If it ever goes so far as to involve possible offspring then they will have to start considering all that... but until them, let them have fun and enjoy themselves, however uncomfortable you find it.
Try finding a girl of your own.
Flynn 24
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A
male
reader, PilotGuy +, writes (16 September 2011):
PilotGuy is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI can't help but feel like I'm being selfish but at the same time I can't ignore how uncomfortable I am feeling. I mean, should I accept the fact that my sister and cousin really like each other? Should the I be happy that they are happy with each other. I want to be able to be happy for them but I just think the whole situation is sick. Am I being selfish? Am I just thinking about myself and not thinking enough of my sister and cousin?
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