A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Dear cupid...My problem is that my sex life has gone down the toilet. I'm in a relationship with my boyfriend of 2 years. I'm in my mid 20s and he's in his early 30s. So I dont think it's age. We're both healthy and active and neither of us has put on weight or grown any weird hair that I know of. We seem to be getting on the same as always. Not exactly Romeo and Juliette and we do bicker from time to time.In saying that in general we are usually both very considerate about each other. From little things like if one of us was in a shop and bought a t-shirt we'd get one for the other. No big money just that the thought really does count.So I just don't understand how we can go from doing it every night when we started having sex just 2 months into the relationship, to once a week which is only 3 times a month because of my period!When we do have sex I have to initiate it, and sometimes he really takes his time getting turned on, Like he can't be bothered or maybe he likes that I'm doing the work?? Also, he has on occassion just not had sex after my attempts which made me feel really ugly and rejected and didn't attempt sex for about a month after this.He's prob on top 2/3 of the time and me on top the other 1/3 but we both prefer him on top. I only go on top for variety so its not the same thing. He always comes during sex and makes sure i do so it really is just the frequency im frustrated over.He does makes sexual inuendos about his "sausage" and "package", and likes to tickle my nipples and unhook my bra if we'r just messin around cookin dinner so surely when he does that sex must enter his mind.I find myself staring at the ceiling at night a ball of frustration in my tummy and i feel myself gettin mad at him.I've tried just not initiating sex and id love to have the willpower to just stay away, and even say no if he initiated so he'd have to miss it for once but i get it so little that i really cant say no on hte rare occassion he'l start.I don't know what to do. I'm sorry this was so long. I know things could be a lot worse and of it's my only problem im lucky but i cant help bein selfish about it and wanting it fixed.Help help help please!!
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male
reader, leonard j.Douglas  +, writes (9 July 2007):
Hi! Love, I'm 80, years young so I don't mind calling you Love. Yes, Sweetheart it is the age, his not your's, that has brought about a marked change in the frequency of coitus. Your bf has what I call "Sexual-Burn-out" And the togetherness of every night sexuality, intercourse, is a pace that no man can,nor should have to,keep up indefinitely. For us, It is really a form of sexual abuse of our genitals by a woman. But, we won't say anything because our ego's gets in the way of our common sense,until our body says enough is enough. That doesn't mean that he loves you less. your bf's body is telling you what his lips aren't saying,and that is,"I can't do it every night anymore, Sweetheart. I need to charge-up my sexual battery, And do you mind if We just do it 3-times a month". It's a known fact that excessive Masturbation will induce in men ED-Erection-Dysfunction and being as penile-vaginal-Intercourse- is but another form of masturbation within the vagina, then excessive coitus,for the male could lead to Erection-Dysfunctio. So if you have noticed a change in his erections or his ability to maintain that erection during intercourse, that's what is going on, but his male ego isn't going to say, "Gee! it don't work".You both need to explore other ways to enjoy your sexuality.I Have eight fingers and two thumbs,but best of all my oral penis, my tongue,is the nicest way to say to a woman, "I love you". Do get some sexual share books,there is a whole new sexual world out there for you both to enjoy,so have at it,and enjoy yourselves.
A
female
reader, flower girl  +, writes (8 July 2007):
 Low sex drive can be down to many things so i am going to give you some examples and you can try and eliminate them.
Has your boyfriend been overtired or under stress recently?
Feeling like this can sometimes mean that sex is like a chore and it's not that they don't find you attractive any more they just don't have the energy.
Is your boyfriend on any medication for anything?, as there are some tablets that can cause low sex drive.
Have you experienced any sexual difficulties at any point, because this can make you unconsciously not desire sex.
You need to sit down and talk to your boyfriend and ask him why he thinks that the sexual part of your relationship has slowed down, all of these problems can be sorted if you have communication and find out what the underlying problem is.
Take care.xx.
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