A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Me and my husband have been married for 3 years together for 5 and we have a 3 month old baby together. I'm finding I'm just into my hubby as sexually anymore I still find him very attractive but when we get down to sex it's so boring! I don't get aroused anymore and we have to use lots of lube to do penetration and he never makes me orgasm :( I always have to get myself off! It never bothered me before but it's started to after the birth of our baby he's so selfish! During foreplay it's just me giving him oral and him playing with my nipples he never gives me oral or plays with my clit! I shave and shower so thats not the issue I've tried to ask him if there's any issue with my vagina which turns him off and he said "No just it takes ages to make you cum and I get bored". I sometimes spend hours giving him oral and manual relief with nothing inreturn. It's turning me off sex because he's so selfish and he keeps on asking me why I don't put out as much anymore. I work, look after our daughter cook and clean the whole house without any help so I'm starting to resent the fact that he can't even be bothered to help me orgasm. He suffered from porn addiction in the past I caught him viewing porn when I was 9 months pregnant he later told me it was because I was "very big" and he didn't find me attractive anymore. I've since shed the baby weight and he compliments my figure but I can't help thinking that porn has shaped my husbands view of sex.He seems to think that a woman should just give pleasure to her man and not receive. I'm only in my twenties and I'm scared that my marriage is just going to be a one way sexual street for the rest of my life. I still love my husband but his lack of concern for my pleasure is really upsetting for me!!
View related questions:
foreplay, my figure, nipples, orgasm, porn, vagina Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2013): Have you told him why you don't put out as much these days i.e. that you find it frustrating? Can you sit down and talk to him, tell him that things have changed since you had the baby and you no longer feel he's being attentive? To be honest, if you don't even feel aroused I don't think you should have sex. Tell him you're not turned on enough yet. That should provide him with an incentive to overcome his "boredom".
A
male
reader, GentleGiant  +, writes (2 October 2013):
Tell him how you feel, it appears his actions correspond with some sex scene in a porn movie. Reality check time, porn movies are not real life situations. Lots of women do not scream and hold onto the bed sheets while a man pounds away at her at a hundred miles per hour. Women just can't give endless hand jobs or oral sex and not get anything more than almost a good violation of their body. I learned one thing in my relationship of four plus years with my girlfriend and that is I listen and observe during courting. I watch for the cues and do everything within my power to bring my women to a great climax and a satisfying rump in bed or wherever else she wants to do it. And I tell her i enjoyed watching her climax and hold and cherish her dearly after wards and that I love her. I must admit as a man it took me a while to be patient and understanding and give my honey good oral sex. You got to be slow and understanding and loving about it all. But if she is happy and satisfied one day and I don't get anything it works out well in end because I get what I want and need also. You have my complete understanding on your situation. You have to talk with him without destroying his male libido. But as a man he has to take charge and give his wife what she needs in the bedroom also. And like everything it takes time and patience. Good-luck.
...............................
A
male
reader, CMMP  +, writes (2 October 2013):
Have you clearly and non judgmentally stated this to him?
...............................
A
female
reader, like I see it +, writes (2 October 2013):
 It's frankly amazing to me how many guys think that just sticking their d**k in a woman should be all it takes to pleasure both parties. That said, not all men seem to get the concept that there are women out there who will ONLY come with clitoral stimulation, so I have to ask... have you actually sat him down and explained to him that you NEED that to achieve orgasm?If not, then I'd start there.If yes, and he's simply choosing to ignore you, then a demonstration is in order, because he's being selfish and lazy and neither trait is one you want to reward in a sex partner. Or should I say... I can't tell you what you SHOULD do, but I can tell you what I would do!Next time you are having sex let him get going but stop him before he finishes. When he asks what's up, tell him he's taking ages and you're bored. Suggest he finish the job himself. Get up and leave him there in bed.Predictably, he will be annoyed and frustrated. He'll also have a taste of EXACTLY how you feel. The next time you try to explain to him that sex IS a two-way street, he should have a solid understanding of where you're coming from. And maybe he'll listen.Seriously though, I wouldn't put out for him at all until he makes an effort to return the favor.
...............................
|
