A
male
age
30-35,
*gonyunclechris
writes:Hi. I have a girlfreind, before she was my best friend for 4 years. She means the world to me, and i seriously mean, she has given me a reason to live. we were together for 9 months and broke up a week and back together for a month, so 10 months in effect.The issue i have, is: 1. she wont tell her mom she is going out with me, [shes 18 a month away from 19] and 17 a month away from 18. She says her mom will be mad, because she is the baby in the family, so she keeps me in secret and i cant tell anybody.2.she sometimes doesnt even feel like giving me physical affection such as hugs. She hardly ever sees me, maybe once a week for an hour or two.3. this is the most TORMENTING, physically tearing, self esteem destroying thing of them all, she will not have sex with me, not once has she had sex with me. This is the thing that is PUSHING me away, its frustrating, it makes me feel like my soul is tearing up inside and i just cant do it anymore.What can i do? i dearly love her, but the torment is too much
View related questions:
best friend, broke up, self esteem Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, generalist  +, writes (7 November 2009):
see dont treat sex as a mechanical thing...the point has to reach where you both feel the same...now if you feel it then its not necessary that she also feels the same...yes you guys are getting well...give some time to your relationship..as all relationships are not same...thir patterns are also not same...i am sure take her out,make her feel special...and ya get in some discussion where in you can discuss this thing openly....i'm sure she will open up.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2009): It sort of sounds like she either doesn't want to step the relationship up a level and is making excuses, or wants to be able to know you better before she starts doing all that stuff you want, i mean seriously, you two have been going out for almost a year. I personally don't think she is ready for you, just give her a little of time. A little patience will determine if she is ready for you, you'd be surprised what that can do. My girlfriend didn't want to even get that close to me, that was about half a year ago. You should let her get to know you better, and most of all DO NOT RUSH HER. As of today, she knows me better, she kisses and holds my hand. If BOTH of you are ready to step the relationship then tell her she shouldn't keep it a secret, that will get you nowhere. Just make sure she is ready to step it up a notch,comfort her, compliment her, and ask her what she feels. And, even if you don't care, listen and respond to her problems. I hope this advice helped you, and, even though im just a teenager, I found out a lot of stuff about women. Last of all, don't make yourself feel vulnerable to sex, be very hygenic, (very clean), and tell me how this goes.
...............................
A
male
reader, tux  +, writes (7 November 2009):
 I'm not going to focus on the having sex part, that is minor compared to everything else you have mentioned..
A) she won't let you meet her family and gives the excuse that her mom would be upset because she is the baby of the family... Keep in mind that the baby in the family needs to grow up sometime.. but yet she wants to keep the relationship a secret that you cannot tell anyone... which to me could mean a lot of things but also reeks of the scent that she is also secretly seeing someone other than you that her family does know about.
B) She won't give you physical affection/hugs... I would be hard pressed to find someone who likes someone but yet not want to give each other hugs and kisses or what not.. and you seeing her once a week for an hour or 2 should bring you physically close together unless of course she is only verbally going through the motions with you.
But I think you are better off not dealing with her and moving on with your life without her.. You would be better off finding someone who will actually care enough to be emotionally connected with you. I really do not believe she is.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2009): [Moderator note: text speak translated]you must never presure the girl into having sex with you. if she wont tell her mom its for a reason and if you really love her then show her that you respect that but again let her come to you when shes ready to have sex. not you come to her because then you're putting pressure on her.good luck
...............................
|
