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female
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anonymous
writes: Okay. I am embarrassed to post, but here goes. Okay, I was married and now divorced. My ex did things to hurt me very badly. He lowered my self esteem extremely. After lots of work, I am a pretty confident person except for one thing. When I am having sex with my boyfriend and try to get on top I freeze. Its like I don't remember how to do it. I need advice and a refresher course. Help. This is truly bothering me. He is great about it and tells me I don't have to do it but it bothers me!! Please help. Thanks so much for not laughing. Tell me how to do it.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, talking sense +, writes (9 August 2006):
Hi
It is perfectly normal for this to happen. Many people have experiences like this when being intimate with there partner. You may be trying to hard to please your partner due to issues from your past. Remember this is a different man who is with you because he loves you. Sex is natural and beautiful, stop thinking of how to please him. when you are on top think of how nice it feels when your bodies are together get lost in the moment and it will come naturally. There is no set way of how to have sex on top of man it is different for each couple.
Sometimes this happens because your not fully comfortable with your partner. If this is the case then spend sometime trying out postitions your are more comfortable with until you get to know what pleases your partner then go from there. It will all come togther naturally in its own time. Remember your just as sexy as your partner if not more so!!
A
female
reader, xcherryx  +, writes (9 August 2006):
 first of all dont be so embaressed. the only thing i could suggest is just give it time.did you go on top with your ex cos maybe thats why you are freezing up , is it giving you a reminder of him without you even realising?. just give it time and im sure it wil be fine. xx
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