A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My husband doesn't care that I have financial problems. I was adjusting for green card last year. During that time my working permit expired and lost my full time job. But he still wants me to pay my share of the rent. He doesn't care my account is draining and I am almost broke. He splits everything. Recently I got a part time job as a survival job and worked until midnight. When I ask him to pick me up after work he wants to charge me 4 dollars for oil every day. We even split a can of corn oil for 2 dollars. He got mad because I couldn't pay for groceries in the time I didn't have my work permit and couldn't work. I don't get it. I know we are just married for half a year and we got married in a hurry, but he is getting more cheap. I know he had a history that his ex would buy groceries and come to his place to cook, and she paid the money when they went traveling. I chose someone to be the one that is very close to me. But when I couldn't work and was almost broke he told me if I can't pay my rent he told me to get lost and he will move away. I needed to ask my parents for help. It was so embarrassing. I am married but my husband will leave me for the rent. I remember having no money and couldn't work but he will never gave me a penny, and kept asking for the rent. This is my husband. Why is mine like this? Why do I have no one to rely on? Why am I married but I felt empty and so hurt like there is no one in the world next to me? Why am I married like this?What should I do?
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male
reader, jacktheripperr  +, writes (22 January 2011):
I don't think he's treating you any good. Leave him and leave him quick. With me and my partner is what's mine is hers and what's hers is mine. I can't stand someone that is so cheap and tight with money. He seems very insensitive too. I don't know why you even married this man. My advice is move on. You deserve better.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2011): He is set in the idea that he deserves a woman who will take care herself under ANY circumstances, and in that situation, I think you have two options- deal with the fact that you're involved with a DOUCHE, or try talking to him and let him know that he's being a jerk and to change, or you'll leave him with someone who experiences waves of EMPATHY. He's a dick, leave him... you deserve better if he wasn't willing to take care of you when you needed it most. Anyone who sincerely cares about someone wouldn't be so mean.
Best of luck to you and I hope you find a REAL man.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2011): this does not sound like a caring considerate man.
if you can have a talk with him. i dont get it husband and wife should be sharing not only one way and splitting up the money? sounds really odd.i think you should sit down and have a talk with him about the money tell him your feelings. lol
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A
female
reader, SweetSmoochy +, writes (22 January 2011):
 That is...really distrubing. A relationship should never be about money like that. yes, money is a worry, but youre not his roommate, youre his wife. It's a partnership. One gives more when the other needs it. He will have those times too, and you would be there for him, I'm sure. Maybe he isn't right for you, and you should move on. Maybe he has a mental disorder, like Obsessive compulsive/controlling personality defects, or an addiction, such as gambling or drugs that keeps his money really tight. If that is the case, he needs help. One way or another, this situation has got to change for you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2011): I think you might want to call it a day.But if you think this is worth salvaging at all, I don't, sit down and talk with him about the finances and how you feel about all of this. This is no way to live your life. A room mate would treat you better than he does.
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (22 January 2011):
 he's a very ignorant and very mean man.
Some might even call it financial abuse.
What age is he? His attitudes are not those of a reasonale man.
Does he share with you his own financial situation?
Do you do most of the housework, cooking, cleaning and shopping?
Does he work or does he live on a fixed investment income? If the latter his own situation may be tough. But you have a right to know.
These are all questions as his wife that you have a right to know. Ask him his reasons for marrying you? Did he profess to love you?
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A
male
reader, eddie85 +, writes (22 January 2011):
 In regards to: "Why is mine like this? Why do I have no one to rely on? Why am I married but I felt empty and so hurt like there is no one in the world next to me? Why am I married like this?" I am not sure why you ask the questions to us. You picked him and it sounds like you knew this going into the relationship. It sounds like your husband wants all the benefits of a wife without actually really have to take care of her. Why would you want to get married to a guy like that in the first place?I am not sure what you can do. Since you are unemployed, you may want to discuss how you can help around the house to "earn your keep" so to speak. You are obviously warming his bed as well, and I would think that would count for something.From the sounds of it, you've made a tragic mistake. I am not sure there are any solutions here other than finding a job and paying your share, splitting up, or talking to him about the situation. But it sounds like to me that you are more roommates with benefits than a married couple -- and that's a shame for newlyweds and you should probably reconsider your relationship prospects with him.
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2011): because thats the life you choose.and you need to get a career. best of luck
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