A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello.I’ve just moved into a student house, sharing with friends (all girls). I want to know how we should arrange things. I’m angry with myself for agreeing to have a house with them because I know that now I’d prefer to be living in halls again.I get on with the girls on the whole but my friendships with most of them are quite superficial. I’m very close to one of them but not very good friends with the others. I want to socialize with them, but I’d prefer to generally keep myself to myself and be independent. The problem is that all of them tend to undermine me and put me down a lot. They’re all very domineering and have a tendency to walk all over me. I’m trying to stand up for myself by asking for more privacy and our own section of the kitchen, bathroom, etc., but they disagree. It seems they want to us to share everything and we’re all expected to compromise our belongings but it’s not cost-effective or fair. I have to pay for things I’m not even going to use! I don’t have much privacy because we haven’t got keys for our doors so if I’m not there, they could sleep in my bed and ‘borrow’ things from my room. I like my own space and privacy. However, they seem to think I’m being unreasonable and overreacting. I hate it.I’m really trying to be more headstrong and feisty but it’s difficult. Is there anything else I can do? Any tips for house-sharing? Has anyone had any experiences that could help? Thank you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2011): I dont like the no lock business, I would definately request a lock for your room from the landlord,or better still, get your parents to ask. If hes providing shared accomadation he must realise you need one. Anyone could end up in your room, friends of friends etc. Secure your belongings till then in a locked case.
As for the cost and sharing food or whatever.. how about going shopping together say,monthly (or do it online,) and splitting the bill between you?
There are always teething problems when house sharing.. its usually who makes the most mess, who doesn't clean up the kitchen/bathroom or put the rubbish out.....then theres the heating bills...but thats another story
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (11 September 2011):
 Things should not be shared. You pay for what you yourself use, and that's it. Keep your things, bathroom things and food and everything, in your room. Then state loud and clear that you do not want to join in on the sharing-party. They can organize themselves that way all they please, but you have a right to decide you do not want to live that way. If you want to have your things to yourself, then you have every right to keep it that way.
Just be careful that they will probably (childish as they sound like) tell you that because of this you can not ever borrow or even touch any of their things. So if you ever run out of anything and want to borrow things, even if you will replace it, they might get bitchy about it. But it won't last forever. Just ride out the storm.
You can keep your most valuable things in a box or chest with a lock on.
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