A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:My parents were telling me they think my boyfriend should offer to pay for dining out sometimes. They expect him to treat my entire family out. I don't know how to tell him without him thinking how petty my parents are. He is very polite and thanks them when my parents pay. Sometimes I pay too. My parents insist that I'm paying for it isn't the same. My parents have lots of money, and my boyfriend doesn't work right now. My parents believe it's polite to offer to pay, and my boyfriend thinks they're the one with money. My parents think if my bf never offers to pay, it means he's not respecting them.I'm from a asian culture and I'm not sure if western culture are the same. Can anyone tell me how I should bridge this culture difference?
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female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (29 January 2007):
 CD always has good advice, and I'm just going to be seconding a few of her suggestions. I think that having him invite them over to his place for dinner is a FABULOUS idea. It's personal, it's considerate, it's classy.
I also think if your parents are really adamant about going OUT to dinner, I think putting some cash into his bank account isn't a bad idea. You shouldn't sneak the money into his account, that might hurt him. I think you should just talk to him about your parnets. Let him know that you are having trouble bridging your cultures, so that you need his help getting the proper acceptance from your family.
I'm pretty much reiterating what CD said. Just... just listen to her. She's good.
xxIndia
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (29 January 2007):
 I spoke to an asian friend of mine and she has never of this. I think your parents are being unreasonable. But cd206 has a couple good ideas maybe you should try one. Good Luck!
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A
female
reader, cd206  +, writes (29 January 2007):
 The way I see it you have three options.
1. Tell your parents that you understand their opinion but that your boyfriend is currently unemployed and can't afford to treat the family but you're sure that he will when he's in a more financially secure position.
2. Pay some money into your boyfriend's bank account for the meal so it looks like he's paying.
3. Get him to invite them for dinner at his place. Help him to cook a lovely meal and get him to tell them that although it'd be lovely to go out he can't afford it right now so he hopes they appreciate the gesture of him cooking.
Hope this helps.
CD
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