A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:How do I become the "bad boy" that women seem to love?I am that steriotypical nice guy that all the girls say they dream about, but in reality they will probably never be with. I am romantic, considerate affectionate and all those traits, but I guess maybe a little too much. How do I become more of a bad boy while still keeping all of my qualities that girls say they want? How do I keep my self respect as a self loving person, when these things that I love about myself seems to get in the way of keeping or getting women? HELP!!! Reply to this Question
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male
reader, sonnensc +, writes (2 February 2007):
You need to learn to love yourself. And you need to stop doing stuff that unintentionally drives women away. Sometimes that's easier said than done.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 January 2007): Oh come on you're too old to assume that women must want bad boys and to blame it on you being too nice for them. Be a bad guy - you might attract women, but you will destroy them. I'm sure that's not what you want?
It's not a bad boy they want it is -self confidence- this is the thing you are laking by being the stereotypical nice guy. When people say nice, they actually mean weak, submissive and without opinion and belief. They do everything for their women, never stick up for themselves and will sacrifice themselves and make themselves miserable for the other person. This is wrong, you must find somewhere in the middle where you are nice, in the true sense of the word, but also have the confidence to know your own importance and have your own set of opinions and beliefs and be able to stick up for yourself as a human being.
If a women wants someone to walk over, she'll buy a door mat. She wants an equal - someone on her intellectual level who can challenge her as well as be there when she needs it.
Work on this change for yourself and you will automatically see more women become be more attracted to you.
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A
female
reader, cd206  +, writes (29 January 2007):
 Girls always go for the good guys in the end. I wish I knew you, I can tell you that. So sick of the bad boy thing. All girls get over it in the end. While I reckon that your good qualities are all things to be proud of, maybe theyre making you come across as a little too clingy and keen which is what's putting the girls off. Try not to let your good qualities completely take over... keep them on a short leash so that you show them but don't overplay them.
CD
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 January 2007): Thanks for the kind words. I am 27. Maybe it is my jaded point of view, but from my experience and the multitude of girls i have talked to or are friends with, you will never find one that doesn't say they want the nice guy... and most often they go for the bad boy.
I dont want to change who i am, but i may need an adjustment to my interaction with women. maybe not let them see all of what i have to offer for a long time.
i am hurting.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 January 2007): I think you should just be yourself. Why change yourself if your comfortable with who you are and I don't think u should have to. I'm sure you'll meet a girl who appreciates u for who u are and all the qualities u have. And once u find her I'm sure the realationship will work well since u won't be trying to be someone ur not just for her. You'll have to be patient but they say good things come to those who wait. Also I'm a girl and I personally don't like "bad" boys. By the way what's ur exact age?
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