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female
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*irlTrouble
writes: I'm a lesbian in my mid-30's. My 4-year relationship has been in trouble almost since the first year we were together. She is a lovely, sweet person, and some years my junior), and I feel very affectionate and loyal toward her. But living together is a nightmare, and our sex life has been tepid at best and non-existent at worst. I no longer feel in love with her. On top of everything, we're now trying to solve this long-distance. Worst of all, I have recently met someone to whom I am painfully, insanely attracted. I feel confused and guilty, even though I have not specifically acted on those feelings. Am I "moving on" or just running away from the hard work?
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female
reader, gustavia  +, writes (12 November 2006):
Yes I agree you are moving on. For both parties involved, make it a clean break, say goodbye and hold on to happy memories.
A
female
reader, xxxsoulsistaxxx  +, writes (12 November 2006):
 I think you're moving on. We can only try so hard at something and when we know, deep down, that it's over, we sometimes get sent a sign that shows us we're making the right decision. If things were good between you two, you would not be considering this other woman. I think it's got too hard for you and you are moving on to better things that will hopefully make you happier.
It sounds like you've already started to move on and this is probably for the best. Because of your age difference, you may want different things? Or maybe it's just not meant to be. Whatever the reason, you have to accept that it's not working and make a vow to make it work or walk away.
There's not point sticking around and wasting more time is this can't be saved. This new woman could be the one for you and you can't let he go. She may not be the one for you, also, but letting chances go like this to hang onto the past is not good and you will only end up resenting her in the future.
The fact it's not a long distance relationship shows you how this has gone from bad to worse and if you were going to patch things up, you can't live miles away from each other. You need to decide what it is you want, but I think your mind is telling you to move on and start again. The body will only stay unhappy and frustrated for so long before it starts to make changes.
Good luck and keep me posted on your decision.
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